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    dots Submission Name: Loving You Stilldots

    Author: Anneboleyn707
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 44/84/67
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 907


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving You Stilldots

    Loving You Still
    By: Jamie Redlawsk

    Would you ever believe
    That I love you still?
    Now itís corrupted all around us
    And a hole I canít fill
    But itís better you see
    At least for one time
    That my heart never beat faster
    Than when you were mine
    And I never grinned wider
    Well, that was obviously true
    Couldnít you see it when my eyes gleamed
    Only then, just for you?
    Couldnít you feel the heat blazing off me
    Night after night
    When my voice rang with laughter
    And the world was too bright?
    Couldnít you have tried stopping me
    When I started to fly?
    Reached out a hand and held me back
    Because you knew I might die?
    Iíll always know you saw the blood I was destined to spill
    And even that doesnít change it
    Iím loving you still

    Submitted on 2010-03-24 13:45:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I noted that all the explicitly suicidal authors here on ES, and all of the "cutters", were young women. Well, I'm an old man so there is a ... gap in understanding? Eventually I asked the right person about this, and she told me very clearly about the place and the symbolism of blood in a woman's life.

    It's possible that with an active-imagination process - a ritual with fake blood or a dreaming with fantasy imagery, in fact some artform, some people could satisfy the self-harm urge without actually harming themselves.

    In a secular, individualistic civilization, we tend to forget what older cultures had learned about managing human nature!

    Sorry, but I've been hanging out for a chance to say that to somebody! Even though you say the author of this poem is Jamie.

    About the poem's construction, it seems kind of naive (just meaning that the poet would be no expert in verseforms), except for that expert move of emphasizing "loving you still" with a set of rhymes linking the beginning with the end of the poem. That really is cool.

    Therefore I like the poem a lot because the poet is capable in a literary sense, yet is passionately going for self-expression without weakening that by over-elaborating the artwork. I'm sure this is the right attitude for amateur poets - that is, all poets except about one in a million who publish a lot!

    | Posted on 2010-03-24 00:00:00 | by lakesblue | [ Reply to This ]

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