[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Failed But it's Okaydots

    Author: istalkmurdoch
    Elite Ratio:    7.06 - 129/48/25
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 725
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 888

       I really would like some feed back pleeze >_<

    this was a long time ago, but I still think it's cute....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Failed But it's Okaydots

    What if life had took a turn
    and you thought you were going to jail?
    I'd figure you'd have a lot to learn
    because you tried when you were doomed to fail

    but we all fail at times
    it just something you can't avoid
    for one thing its hard to make rhyme
    I find myself annoyed

    maybe my poems don't make sense
    and I know that for most that's true
    but I try not to be so intense
    but I'm not even sure if that's what I do

    the first stanza of this note
    confuses me so
    I'm looking over what I wrote
    and I think I lost my "flow"

    I believe I found what I was trying to say
    and this is where it ends
    I failed at writing a good poem today
    and I'm glad I could tell my friends

    Submitted on 2010-03-25 20:56:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Haha, writer's block sucks.... but thats why they say just write what you feel.
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by SammySueYou | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh man this one had me laughing! I love the self examination and reflection of your first stanza. I also enjoy the fact that you're comfortable enough with your own style to write a piece like this. It's fun and ditsy :) failure is all in perspective and you got a good one by the looks of it.
    | Posted on 2010-05-03 00:00:00 | by all2rest | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that "flow" concept is a trick used by English teachers who haven't studied poetry but have to teach some. Beats me what it means.

    "I failed but it's OK" is such a good thing to write about!

    You can tell a real poet because sometimes they write a poem about writing poems!

    abac gets boring, even though a ballad to sing has to have each stanza the same. But not for singing, in this 4-line format there is abab, abba, abca, abcb, yaddayadda available for more complicated structures. Well anyway, I find it boring when a simple rhyme-scheme is repeated simply. In songs, there is the refrain (chorus) to give needed variety; but in literary verse you got more options if you want them.

    | Posted on 2010-04-11 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
    Awesom! It made me feel better for not being able to write today

    | Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2010-03-25 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]
      Very light-hearted :) It's also pretty original.
    | Posted on 2010-03-25 00:00:00 | by Kaylalt3Dylan | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Hyle written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]