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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cheap Sex and Cigarettesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caelyn rose
    ASL Info:    19/F/Va
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 4/8/11
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 519
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1145



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCheap Sex and Cigarettesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Verse 1:
    Youíre lying here on the ground
    Watching the stars above
    Can you hear that simple sound
    A play back tune from a car stereo
    Calling you away from the night

    Chorus:
    You got to get up
    Get your feet on the ground
    Because true love cannot be found
    In cheap sex and cigarettes
    Love needs to pull you to the sky
    And with angels wings you fly
    Over earth and over sea
    All you need is to believe

    Verse 2:
    Darkened bedrooms is where you reside
    Gazing at the night through a shuttered window
    Can you hear that music playing?
    Room next door is where theyíre praying
    For you to come out from where you hide.

    Bridge:
    One drag isnít enough for a smokerís habit
    Two drags isnít enough to get you high
    Stop running from what youíre scared of
    Thereís no need to worry
    Heís coming for you baby
    Donít hide away behind cheap sex and cigarettes
    Youíre pushing your life away
    Just be patient baby
    Your life is turning




    Submitted on 2010-03-25 22:41:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Interesting. I am not used to reading songs - so this caught me off guard - and I am not really sure what to do with it. The second stanza though - the chorus - was really thought provoking for me -

    "You got to get up
    Get your feet on the ground
    Because true love cannot be found
    In cheap sex and cigarettes
    Love needs to pull you to the sky
    And with angels wings you fly
    Over earth and over sea
    All you need is to believe"

    especially this part

    "because true love cannot be found
    in cheap sex and cigarettes"

    I feel like this has a lot of potential, but doesn't quite go deep enough for me to make the emotional impact that (I think) you are going for. I personally would like to see the theme explored a little bit more - what does cheap sex and cigarettes really mean? why is this person laying on the ground, gazing at stars? where is their heart at in this moment. I really LOVED where you said

    "love needs to pull you up to the sky"

    thats a really cool conceptualization and kind of grabs at me - but I think that it could be emphasized more by exploring the darker theme that the song starts with

    the last stanza, the bridge, seems to touch on the motivations of the character - though as I read it, it feels more like an epilogue for me than it does part of the poem

    anyways, I hope that my thoughts were in some way helpful or constructive. Thank you for sharing this here :)
    Please let me know if you rewrite it - or expand it, as I would be interested in reading it again. Also - if you play it.. that would be cool to hear!


    | Posted on 2010-03-25 00:00:00 | by raincloud | [ Reply to This ]


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