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    dots Submission Name: Tell me this, oh faithful reader,dots

    Author: Aylar
    ASL Info:    17/ female/ Oregon
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 4/5/3
    Words: 336
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 1424
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2081

       Well, I don't really know where this came from, but I just started writing.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTell me this, oh faithful reader,dots

    Tell me this, of faithful reader; What does it mean, to become a believer?
    Is it that you believe more,
    Than what the great Lord has in store?
    Tell me reader what to say,
    On that oh so fateful day.
    Do I beg down on my knees?
    To forgive my negativities?
    No dear reader, beg I will not.
    I'd rather lay in a wooden box.
    Underground beneath a slab,
    Will you then tell me, I was bad?
    After the pain and suff'ring ends,
    Will I seek absolution then?
    Will I be forever cursed to find,
    I was lost in my own mind?
    There is no god, no box, no slab.
    Only what you thought you had.
    Your pain, suffering, happiness and laughter.
    Is it possible?
    Will I have my 'Happily ever after'?
    Alas, I think not.
    You'll lay there in your rotting box.
    Think about the wrongs you've done,
    How can you say that your the one?
    You don't beling behind the gate, ,
    How cruel, how cruel you are dear Fate.,
    To put such illusion upon man,
    To make them think that where they stand,
    Is so far up and out of reach,
    Can't you see?
    The things you cannot be?
    Things are not all they appear,
    Can you feel the atmosphere?
    It's thick and damp with nervous guilt,
    Look at this lie you've built!
    Can you not see!
    The blood on your hands belongs to me!
    You killed my heart, you stabbed my soul,
    Tell me please!
    Is this your goal?
    Oh please dear Fate, don't let this be!
    Why did you let this happen to me?
    Accursed God,
    So cold,
    So cruel,
    My hatred you can only fuel.
    Send me to the circles that await,
    Oh please Cruel One, I just can't wait,
    To burn my sould, and break my shell,
    Oh how cold it is in Hell.
    So tell me this, oh faithful reader,
    What is it like, to be a believer?

    Submitted on 2010-03-27 01:27:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      To be a believer doesn't mean you believe you'll be saved. There are those that believe the wrath of god, but are more than sure they'll be damned anyway.

    There are some that would better with a bit of retouch, but my style is different than yours, so don't follow my advice here.

    Overall, this poem had a..strange tone to it. Accusing much? Perhaps; the poem illustrates bitterness and hate towards an individual for lying, and pretending to be higher than they really are.

    "You don't deserve me"

    Those kind of people. >.>

    I kinda liked it, though I wouldn't go as far as to bring the word "fate" into anything. Destiny is something you create for yourself.

    But then again, that's belief. I'll stop now before I ramble in circles
    | Posted on 2010-03-27 00:00:00 | by Dark Dann | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice one.
    I love the sort of bitter tone it has to it.

    And the fact that it is directed at the reader makes it more powerful.
    | Posted on 2010-03-27 00:00:00 | by CleoLamora | [ Reply to This ]
      That was awesome. ^_^
    | Posted on 2010-03-27 00:00:00 | by Taskaru | [ Reply to This ]

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