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Be a Bird


Author: lori_tab
ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752 /1517 /481
Words: 88
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Nature
Total Views: 1003
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 578



Description:


I didn't really plan on writing something like this so I guess this is more or less just getting a feeling off my chest. So critiques welcome if you have something similar you have experienced or you could see where I am coming from and can share a unique perspective to the world.


Be a Bird



How is it that this feeling seems to be shared
in secret.

That a garden is the only thing growing by these hands,
and all these well planted words and songs and actions have,
escaped.

Tilted on the infinite planes of space,
doing impossible things
never creating so much as a shadow,
merely reflecting a silhouette.

I have grown

And seen myself flying
it was a thought that this life holds me down

and someone whispers,
be a bird





Submitted on 2010-03-27 07:02:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This really is a most fine and unique piece of poetry, I thought the third stanza was exceptional... a fine reflective write, full of hope (which is a rare thing on this site.) loved it!
| Posted on 2010-05-06 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree a really like this part


'I have grown

And seen myself flying
it was a thought that this life holds me down

and someone whispers,
be a bird'


However I feel the start could be more improved to create a more flowing rhythm which feels as if the words themselves could be flying. I feel the beginning is a little lost, whilst the end part seems much more resolved. However maybe thats what you were trying to convey
| Posted on 2010-04-30 00:00:00 | by xdollpartsx | [ Reply to This ]
  Be a Bird... your title sums this up perfectly.
Breaking free, taking flight... this is beautifully expressed and has its own secret light.
| Posted on 2010-04-14 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
  'I have grown

And seen myself flying
it was a thought that this life holds me down

and someone whispers,
be a bird'

i love this part. and maybe it is because i have a thing about birds. though they ground me, inside at least, when everything else about me is flighty and lop-sided.

idk... there is a freedom in this that i just really like. it provokes thought. or moreso a feeling.


be a bird

it's just wonderful.

i don't know if this is relating or not. but...

| Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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