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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Settling of Scoresdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Belle De Jour
    ASL Info:    24/Female/Inside
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 335/367/53
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1137
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 530



    Description:
       Well, I am not real happy with this one, not sure...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Settling of Scoresdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Words of hate struck my heart
    I remained silent far too long
    Believing I was nothing
    Deserving of it all
    Your dealings, slowly killing
    Achieving

    I am resilient, you see
    Thought I would forget
    I do not know the meaning of this
    For you I will not learn, revenge is my quest
    Come over here and prepare to feel it all
    You are the reason for this jaded soul
    I am ready for you, hit me now and witness
    Your own deserving death




    Submitted on 2004-07-24 08:35:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Someone is certainly showing her meanie side in this! I like I like! It's speaking to my mood right now, so I'm keeping it close. Again, you write with feel, and that's something I admire you for. Anger is a pretty cool emotion when you write the way you do. Congrats.
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      The vengeance aspect of the write has the feel of an ambush, laying in wait to assail the one whom you hope to wound beyond healing. It is this hatred and loathing that will bring no healing to the wounded one who penned these words.

    And that is the sadder part of revenge.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the first stanza. I think you should take that last line and expand upon it more. I think you have some good ideas in the last stanza, but you need to maybe refine it some more. I hope to see a revised version, but I enjoyed the read.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      that is really one wicked poem.i hope you get what you want from those people you come across in life because,i for one,sure wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that anger and hatred,beautiful though it is.well done.
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      by the way, I like the picture ~ it is really pretty. i think that you have a lot of great things in this poem you did a really good job with it. lia
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      It drew me in from the first line.. alot of poems bore you after the first few lines.. very nice.. great job
    yea.. the pictures really cool!
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by nanki_c | [ Reply to This ]
      I was listening to the song In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3 (on album by same name) By Coheed And Cambria when I read this. I must say that the poem and the song are just truly and seemlessly flowing together for me. It's like one is amplifying the other, I dunno whatever. I liked the style very much. Bele is such a cool poet what can you say really. Oh yeah one typo in there in the second line 1st stanza

    that "far to" should have probably been "too"

    but whatever not really noticable, maybe worth corecting for perfections sake but not really effecting overall style or reading.

    P.S. That dark angel photo is killer, symbolism is uncanny with the poem to me. Also shes pretty sexy.

    peace,
    kam
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


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