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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: autonomy lostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 595
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       uninspired


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsautonomy lostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    when did this happen?
    why didn't you mention
    that i had crumbled
    disappeared
    to dust right before your very eyes?

    now i'm dancing with the wind
    dandelion kisses in this spring season
    and no choice but to let go
    no autonomy
    and i'm not so sure i'm comfortable with this

    and i
    swear i've been here before
    these trials, tribulations
    and i get lost between the cracks every year
    maybe i should
    pay more attention to this Earth

    the drumbeats never cease.




    Submitted on 2010-03-30 04:02:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way you structure poems in several stanzas all seeming to gather around the last line or couplet and point to it! Like some dairy cows I saw once, they had gathered around this visiting sheep-dog and all those animals were very curious about each other! You've taught me something by this, because I never noticed this kind of structure before.
    | Posted on 2010-07-11 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems more like the feelings just placed on paper than anything else. At least to me.

    I get what you mean by this:

    "and i
    swear i've been here before
    these trials, tribulations
    and i get lost between the cracks every year
    maybe i should
    pay more attention to this Earth"

    Yeah, we've all been there. Where we think they'll hold us high, but just leave. We have to fight to survive, struggle with every breath. Yeah. We'll be there a lot. Haha. I'm rambling.

    Anyhow, this was an okay read. Keep up the work my friend. And don't forget to keep your head up high.

    Oh, and by the way; this part was great for me:

    now i'm dancing with the wind
    dandelion kisses in this spring season
    and no choice but to let go

    I love it.
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by Dark Dann | [ Reply to This ]


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