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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dear Agonydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poisonlovex3
    Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0/1/1
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 524
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 636



    Description:
       I wrote this in December.It's one of my best poems..at least I think it is.But let me know if you like it or if it needs anything fixed (:


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDear Agonydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dear Agony,
    Please take this pain away from me.
    Take my soul and let me be free.
    Your power over me has grown stronger yet.
    These scars on my body I can't forget.
    Everybody stares at me like I'm some kind of robot,that's incomplete.
    Agony,please get away from me.
    You have grown.
    Turned me into something ugly.
    Why?
    Why can't you leave?
    Oh,now I know why.
    I can't let you go.
    Without you,I'd have no strength in my bones.
    Agony,sweet agony.
    Won't you stay,and at least try and take my pain away?




    Submitted on 2010-03-30 14:19:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like how it goes in and out of rhyme sceme. It keeps one focused on it and excited for the next line. I also enjoyed how easily someone could relate to it. Such as how at first you think its the depression clinging to you but in reality its you who cant let go of the release. Only possible advice i could give is a more descriptive vocabulary but other than that there is not a thing I could possibly correct.

    KAT
    | Posted on 2010-04-09 00:00:00 | by Shush49 | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was very well written. It tells a vivid story and paints quite a picture.

    Very well done.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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