Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Knock and Replydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       Another class assignment. I honestly like this one much better than the first assignment. Originally though,this was two seperate poems. One is a female begging her love back. The second is a matching reply from the male. Obivious,he's not cool with it. The two mirror each other in many ways. One way is that the characters are opposites. Another is the that attitude,mood,and tone of each poem is also opposite: idealistic and realistic.Thoughts?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKnock and Replydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dearest love,give me a chance.
    Don't make me admire you from such a far stance.
    Come,hither,let me caress your sweet face.
    Let me take care of you in either sickness or health's place.
    Care not what your steel mind screams
    and I'll give you everything under the sun's beams.
    Whatever you desire,
    just come and step into my fire.

    Silly girl,grow up - act your age.
    Alas,we're still young. Leave your pointless cage!
    Don't touch me! don't spit your venomous love into my eyes.
    I could say I miss you and all,but vain are your cries.
    I could give you the world,but I'll not.
    Hopefully,dreams of me will soon be forgot.
    Love is for the weak,
    just as if it came from a young starling's beak.




    Submitted on 2010-03-30 19:19:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184126

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry