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    dots Submission Name: Dawndots

    Author: hollowshell
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 39/40/14
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 569
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721

       Scribbled this down quite quickly, just trying to put a storm of thoughts into words. Lemme know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The night so dark, the unknow beckons.
    Issues revolve perfectly around my head.
    Staring over and over.

    My feelings; the perfect pawn.

    The screen blurs, a familiar wave.
    My immature hopes; my prospects pave.
    My stupid choices, a fitting grave.

    and then comes the dawn.

    The day so bright, the unknown welcomes.
    Issues dissolve perfectly around my head.
    Longing over and over.

    My feelings; no longer a fawn.

    The screen adjusts, the perfect wave.
    My immature hopes, my prospects gave.
    My wishful choices, my soul, will save.

    Then came Dawn.

    Submitted on 2010-03-30 19:37:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      In the area of connotation, or using fitting words for the night and dawn, it works well- moving from a period of darkness to hopefulness. The underling meaning seems a little more elusive to me but maybe because I was paying more attention to the repeated lines w/ changes?
    | Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]

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