Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dawndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hollowshell
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 39/40/14
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 721



    Description:
       Scribbled this down quite quickly, just trying to put a storm of thoughts into words. Lemme know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDawndots
    -------------------------------------------


    The night so dark, the unknow beckons.
    Issues revolve perfectly around my head.
    Staring over and over.

    My feelings; the perfect pawn.

    The screen blurs, a familiar wave.
    My immature hopes; my prospects pave.
    My stupid choices, a fitting grave.

    and then comes the dawn.

    The day so bright, the unknown welcomes.
    Issues dissolve perfectly around my head.
    Longing over and over.

    My feelings; no longer a fawn.

    The screen adjusts, the perfect wave.
    My immature hopes, my prospects gave.
    My wishful choices, my soul, will save.

    Then came Dawn.






    Submitted on 2010-03-30 19:37:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      In the area of connotation, or using fitting words for the night and dawn, it works well- moving from a period of darkness to hopefulness. The underling meaning seems a little more elusive to me but maybe because I was paying more attention to the repeated lines w/ changes?
    | Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184129

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Incubus written by monad
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    This written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry