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Author: hollowshell
Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 39 /40 /14
Words: 100
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1374
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 721


Scribbled this down quite quickly, just trying to put a storm of thoughts into words. Lemme know what you think.


The night so dark, the unknow beckons.
Issues revolve perfectly around my head.
Staring over and over.

My feelings; the perfect pawn.

The screen blurs, a familiar wave.
My immature hopes; my prospects pave.
My stupid choices, a fitting grave.

and then comes the dawn.

The day so bright, the unknown welcomes.
Issues dissolve perfectly around my head.
Longing over and over.

My feelings; no longer a fawn.

The screen adjusts, the perfect wave.
My immature hopes, my prospects gave.
My wishful choices, my soul, will save.

Then came Dawn.

Submitted on 2010-03-30 19:37:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  In the area of connotation, or using fitting words for the night and dawn, it works well- moving from a period of darkness to hopefulness. The underling meaning seems a little more elusive to me but maybe because I was paying more attention to the repeated lines w/ changes?
| Posted on 2010-04-01 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]

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