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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: HA!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Rant/Serious
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 820



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHA!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take a look at me now!
    Take a good look for I have made many accomplishes without your presence
    I am who I want to be,
    I am who I've longed to be,

    Once upon a time I longed to have you near,
    Long time ago I desired to have your presence,
    Felt as if without you I could not be,
    I'd cease to exist

    Needless to say I am still here
    Thriving, succeeding, growing

    Without your strings attached
    To these arm of mine
    To these legs of mine

    I am no longer under your spell

    DO YOU HEAR ME?!?
    So many years you abused me
    So many nights you took what you wanted

    NO MORE
    I am going to make it...
    I have already made it..

    I WON




    Submitted on 2010-04-03 16:51:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really love your writing voice, it has clear character...

    Sorry if I ignored your message of the piece but it took me by surprise


    ~ Teddy Dayton ~
    | Posted on 2010-07-16 00:00:00 | by MrBear | [ Reply to This ]
      *Nods* Success can be a tool of revenge but I see the drive in you reflecting onto the work.You write with a need of "raising the flag of truth." In lamest terms it's like I know what your thinking when you titled it. Something like :"I must do this.I must do this to prove to myself I am still strong." The cool part is that you wrote it for you and still someone else can read it and relate as if they we're used or felt used.Maybe by a parent, boyfrined, friend.How do I relate? I relate coz someone in my life right now is using me with the proclamation of love towards me, which confuses me and makes me want to run away which goes for the lines: NO MORE.I am going to make it...I have already made it." I can feel that because even though most of us are traumatized it feels so good to obliterate the haunting, wrong and hurting things from our personal worlds.I could never critique you because I hate critics.How can one criticize you for what their not doing? When I read your work I read for complete insight of who you are more than finding something wrong with the piece.Look to the sky Jackz, look to the sky girl.You have quite the body of work, meaning you have much to say.When I think of myself saying: "I have already made it."I swear to God! I imagine myself holding the achievements in my arms,cradling them like a baby laughing at those who doubted I would'nt overcome what I did.I admit your pieces make me think.I know this has nothing to do with this poem but I can identify with wanting the love you can't get from your mother because I'm not even close with mine either so...C ya Jackz.Stay Strong.
    | Posted on 2010-07-14 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This is the attitude.

    Is success a form of revenge? Well, cant say but at least this is a great feeling of independence and accomplishment. Good, keep up the great feeling.
    | Posted on 2010-04-04 00:00:00 | by sombreanddim | [ Reply to This ]


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