Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: pastel violencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: leocrates
    Elite Ratio:    4.95 - 103/34/38
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 526
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 849



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspastel violencedots
    -------------------------------------------


    bunny bunny sex bunny bunny bunny
    money money chocolate jelly beans and me
    egg
    and jesus is having a day of the dead...
    and the waft of trite and tripe emoticons over life and death and appeasement of the beast forgiveness...
    religion a mad science
    and children are the Frankenstein
    its the church that is igor...

    lop eared bunny...

    pink is for chokers...
    sea foam is for froth...
    orange is for the o range...
    violet for the evening sky over peaceful towns that don't have retards...

    geeking on fuzzy bunnys,,,
    and i love it and pet it and feed it carrots...
    'thats good george'
    Bang!

    old yellar ...

    mothera the yard of sleep dust...

    hard boiled...




    Submitted on 2010-04-04 12:57:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, All over the place...
    I see the thread connecting all the peices, however, eh. Lines stand out as really good, and other's fall short of the mark. You set up high standards for yourself with some excellent lines, "and jesus is having a day of the dead...", "appeasement of the beast forgiveness..."
    and then come the lines that are mediocore, "and children are the Frankenstein
    its the church that is igor...", "orange is for the o range..."
    Not to mention your fondness for the dot. dot. dot.


    Not trying to be mean.
    Carrie:)
    | Posted on 2010-04-09 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184242

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Carry written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Every..... written by jackz
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry