Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Thoughts become Thingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mimicked
    ASL Info:    28, Male, Portland
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 10/0/15
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 380
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1096



    Description:
       Here's a poem I wrote about a girl I like. It's pretty self explanatory, AND, if you comment on it that'd be pretty darn cool...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThoughts become Thingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I often take you with me in my day dreams
    With a slight shift in resonance we're a world away
    Living off pristine vistas and the new
    Sharing warm cups of laughter in a quaint cafe

    Passport stamps are played out
    Visas fatigued
    And it just so happens we've topped the Seven Summits in under seven minutes
    And sailed the 7 seas all Seven days of the week

    Yes, just a dream, my inner critic chimes
    But my reality transcends manifestation a la grapes to wine

    So I dream a dreamer's dream
    I hang my coat on ideals
    My thoughts on your smile
    in this fantasy with wheels
    It's errant and without aim
    a swift rush between a pause
    But yet just a dream....well...just because....

    Sometimes I wonder what you think
    Where you place your yesterday
    Do you blink in the moment; in your dream of today?

    Oh my, my musing mind
    always losing it's place
    But you the constant in my dream to escape....




    Submitted on 2010-04-09 13:50:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184337

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    To written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry