[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ocean Amenitiesdots

    Author: dthforeverpain8
    ASL Info:    17/Female/TMON
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 112/217/289
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 430
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1464

       I wrote this sitting on a balcony of our hotel room on the beach of panama city beach florida at 3 AM. I went there with my church group and was constantly tortured willingly by talk of jesus.

    This is me considering wading into the ocean and never coming back. Believe me the idea was tempting.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOcean Amenitiesdots

    I never thought
    A beach could be so cold
    Until I stepped, barefoot
    Into open territory
    Tears staining my face
    And scattering my memory
    Across the seas

    I was frostbitten
    From the neck down

    Tides steal sand
    One grain at a time
    From compacted shores
    Wiping away footprints
    And skewing all traces
    Of terrestrial life

    The wind blowing through
    Palm trees
    Murmurs my name
    Because it knows my secrets
    My only companion
    At this unearthly hour
    When the ocean and sky
    Join as one

    I wade directly in
    Without looking
    Without thought
    Action is the prominent course
    In my mind

    The water,
    Warm in comparison
    To the frozen desert breezes
    And sends tingling sensations
    Throughout the body

    I do not pause
    To discard clothing
    Only plunge deeper yet

    I am certain
    Of nothing else
    But this

    The ocean swallows greedily
    Without asking questions
    And I am grateful

    I inhale the smell
    Of salt and foam
    Until it saturates my being
    Infiltrates my lungs

    And the Ocean and I
    Become One

    Submitted on 2010-04-12 07:08:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      so, wow. this is extremely well written and i do think im in love with it. would it be awkward for me to marry your poem?

    and then i read your description above and i realized how very much this poem means to me. Ive been to the ocean three times, once a year every spring break sinse 07, except this year(im too old for youth group trips now. lame.) but each time i went with a church group, like you said.
    the ocean just astounds me. i just sat and stared at the waves for hours even after the sun was long gone and it was starting to get FREEZING. i dont know, theres something hypnotic about it. Ive never Felt so much, as when i was at those youth retreats on the ocean. I got baptised in the ocean and i got my heart broken again and again. i saw the worst kind of cruely and made the best sort of friends. i was wild and reckless and yet so at peace. i dont know. it was so great and painful and wonderful. ive never felt so alive.

    i cant even tell you how much this poem means to me. you just have no idea man. im in awe.

    thanks for writing this.

    if you dont mind, "constantly tortured willingly by talk of jesus." i was wondering what you ment by that? its just a bizarre statment.

    | Posted on 2010-04-12 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written poem!

    I've talked at long lengths regarding religion, specifically Christianity. I find it's hypocrisy very troublesome. But if we subtract the sociological elements away and look just at Jesus' msg it's pretty legit (peace, love, tolerance) and ironically more in adherence with Eastern Doctrines, IMHO.

    I'm curious what your views on religion are, just for interpretive purposes? (Note: I'm not a "Christian" in any traditional sense.)

    With regards to the poem, what do the "tears staining your face" symbolize? Are they symbolic of your situational misery?

    "Tides steal sand
    One grain at a time
    From compacted shores
    Wiping away footprints
    And skewing all traces
    Of terrestrial life"

    Reading into the stanza above; are you saying that the uniformity of Christianity wipes away the individual? Sweeping them into a sea of the Christian consensus?
    | Posted on 2010-04-12 00:00:00 | by Mimicked | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]