[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ocean Amenitiesdots

    Author: dthforeverpain8
    ASL Info:    17/Female/TMON
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 112/217/289
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 479
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1464

       I wrote this sitting on a balcony of our hotel room on the beach of panama city beach florida at 3 AM. I went there with my church group and was constantly tortured willingly by talk of jesus.

    This is me considering wading into the ocean and never coming back. Believe me the idea was tempting.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOcean Amenitiesdots

    I never thought
    A beach could be so cold
    Until I stepped, barefoot
    Into open territory
    Tears staining my face
    And scattering my memory
    Across the seas

    I was frostbitten
    From the neck down

    Tides steal sand
    One grain at a time
    From compacted shores
    Wiping away footprints
    And skewing all traces
    Of terrestrial life

    The wind blowing through
    Palm trees
    Murmurs my name
    Because it knows my secrets
    My only companion
    At this unearthly hour
    When the ocean and sky
    Join as one

    I wade directly in
    Without looking
    Without thought
    Action is the prominent course
    In my mind

    The water,
    Warm in comparison
    To the frozen desert breezes
    And sends tingling sensations
    Throughout the body

    I do not pause
    To discard clothing
    Only plunge deeper yet

    I am certain
    Of nothing else
    But this

    The ocean swallows greedily
    Without asking questions
    And I am grateful

    I inhale the smell
    Of salt and foam
    Until it saturates my being
    Infiltrates my lungs

    And the Ocean and I
    Become One

    Submitted on 2010-04-12 07:08:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      so, wow. this is extremely well written and i do think im in love with it. would it be awkward for me to marry your poem?

    and then i read your description above and i realized how very much this poem means to me. Ive been to the ocean three times, once a year every spring break sinse 07, except this year(im too old for youth group trips now. lame.) but each time i went with a church group, like you said.
    the ocean just astounds me. i just sat and stared at the waves for hours even after the sun was long gone and it was starting to get FREEZING. i dont know, theres something hypnotic about it. Ive never Felt so much, as when i was at those youth retreats on the ocean. I got baptised in the ocean and i got my heart broken again and again. i saw the worst kind of cruely and made the best sort of friends. i was wild and reckless and yet so at peace. i dont know. it was so great and painful and wonderful. ive never felt so alive.

    i cant even tell you how much this poem means to me. you just have no idea man. im in awe.

    thanks for writing this.

    if you dont mind, "constantly tortured willingly by talk of jesus." i was wondering what you ment by that? its just a bizarre statment.

    | Posted on 2010-04-12 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written poem!

    I've talked at long lengths regarding religion, specifically Christianity. I find it's hypocrisy very troublesome. But if we subtract the sociological elements away and look just at Jesus' msg it's pretty legit (peace, love, tolerance) and ironically more in adherence with Eastern Doctrines, IMHO.

    I'm curious what your views on religion are, just for interpretive purposes? (Note: I'm not a "Christian" in any traditional sense.)

    With regards to the poem, what do the "tears staining your face" symbolize? Are they symbolic of your situational misery?

    "Tides steal sand
    One grain at a time
    From compacted shores
    Wiping away footprints
    And skewing all traces
    Of terrestrial life"

    Reading into the stanza above; are you saying that the uniformity of Christianity wipes away the individual? Sweeping them into a sea of the Christian consensus?
    | Posted on 2010-04-12 00:00:00 | by Mimicked | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Push written by JanePlane
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]