Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What do you do?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/298/259
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 398
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat do you do?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm stuck in this moment
    Lost in this forever
    Nothing I can do to get out
    The Dark is swallowing me
    I'll never be free
    As my fears start to destroy me
    Taking hold, losing control
    Fighting a losing battle
    I'm so jaded
    My life has faded
    I'm clinging to the egde
    Trying to make a pledge
    I'm moving so fast
    But I'm still coming last
    Maybe I should give up
    Maybe I should let go
    Let all my tears flow
    I've never been this low
    It's time to go
    Time to leave it all behind
    Let me make up my mind
    Goodbye to this life...




    Submitted on 2010-04-13 03:06:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i have to agree with the previous comment started off well could really relate to how you were feeling then became a lot like something my 16 yearold sister would write when she feels down
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by blink | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning sounded really good, but when you got to the line "I've never been this low" it got kind of clichéd.
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by LaylaViolet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184405

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Elagabalus pt. I written by MyPeriodical
    Some Confusion written by MyPeriodical
    The Love I Never Knew written by Janesaddiction
    Under Your Spell written by C. Starr
    Of seeds we planted. written by Chelebel
    Tiger Cages of Vietnam written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Essentials - In The Beginning V2 written by PryncessVynom
    Daddy Please written by LonelyNight
    Indulgences written by MyPeriodical
    Can someone tell me how to delete my elite skills written by roycureton
    put up or go home written by Daniel Barlow
    This Is What Happens Next pt 2 (edited version) written by kase
    Tears of an angel written by keestu
    Same Old Song and Dance written by kase
    To the Train written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You be the Writer written by Chelebel
    The Scarlet Letter written by Janesaddiction
    Habitual written by C. Starr
    Memento Mori written by HisNameIsNoMore
    JMSN - Love Myself written by kase
    This World Where I Make You My King written by C. Starr
    Simple Silence written by Iram
    A little mix of this and that written by Chelebel
    Blue written by C. Starr
    About Me written by AliceMargatroid
    In him written by Janesaddiction
    Haiku: The Night Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Horizons written by 1tkfyl
    What are You, My Love? written by lori_tab
    Raisins Bathed In Chocolate written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry