Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What do you do?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/297/258
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 286
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat do you do?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm stuck in this moment
    Lost in this forever
    Nothing I can do to get out
    The Dark is swallowing me
    I'll never be free
    As my fears start to destroy me
    Taking hold, losing control
    Fighting a losing battle
    I'm so jaded
    My life has faded
    I'm clinging to the egde
    Trying to make a pledge
    I'm moving so fast
    But I'm still coming last
    Maybe I should give up
    Maybe I should let go
    Let all my tears flow
    I've never been this low
    It's time to go
    Time to leave it all behind
    Let me make up my mind
    Goodbye to this life...




    Submitted on 2010-04-13 03:06:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i have to agree with the previous comment started off well could really relate to how you were feeling then became a lot like something my 16 yearold sister would write when she feels down
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by blink | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning sounded really good, but when you got to the line "I've never been this low" it got kind of clichéd.
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by LaylaViolet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184405

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer's Closing Thought written by CrypticBard
    Fuck What You Say (Ft. Cordell) written by LadyVoice
    Broken celibacy written by Outlaw
    off course written by refused2die
    Architexts written by trinityfinger
    Only I written by refused2die
    The Cross written by refused2die
    I Am All These Things, and Yet written by lukewarm
    bedevilment of looking written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleeper bus to Pakse written by Narna
    Puzzle Pieces written by jackz
    written by lameboyofhameln
    The cycle of "I miss you" written by Raistlin Sith
    Binary code written by pixie_007
    lovin. written by SetmyselfonFire
    The Fallen Fence written by Glen Bowman
    Breathe written by Indaleco
    Same Mistakes written by blankscreen
    traffic written by Daniel Barlow
    Gravity written by kase
    New Pain written by C. Starr
    Scriptures written by Daniel Barlow
    ....... written by Snow9
    Always Something written by Glen Bowman
    If More People Knew Who You Are... written by C. Starr
    Malware (skillaton~key) written by cornonthekob
    Dive Into the Elbow written by lukewarm
    I'm a Pothead written by weedpoemposter
    Without your hand to pour into my hand written by Daniel Barlow
    With me forever written by slntfirflm

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry