Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What do you do?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/298/259
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 434
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat do you do?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm stuck in this moment
    Lost in this forever
    Nothing I can do to get out
    The Dark is swallowing me
    I'll never be free
    As my fears start to destroy me
    Taking hold, losing control
    Fighting a losing battle
    I'm so jaded
    My life has faded
    I'm clinging to the egde
    Trying to make a pledge
    I'm moving so fast
    But I'm still coming last
    Maybe I should give up
    Maybe I should let go
    Let all my tears flow
    I've never been this low
    It's time to go
    Time to leave it all behind
    Let me make up my mind
    Goodbye to this life...




    Submitted on 2010-04-13 03:06:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i have to agree with the previous comment started off well could really relate to how you were feeling then became a lot like something my 16 yearold sister would write when she feels down
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by blink | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning sounded really good, but when you got to the line "I've never been this low" it got kind of clichéd.
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by LaylaViolet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184405

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Veilleuse and Larceny written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blue written by closetpoet
    Once written by closetpoet
    Lithograph written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Fiddler written by krs3332003
    Drive written by Pietro
    Hell is a place on earth with me written by dancer-of-words
    An open letter to my abuser written by S.A.M.
    what wakes me up at night written by SetmyselfonFire
    eight:twenty-seven written by isabella
    Around the Corner written by Torie
    Crackerjack Jack written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Muse written by krs3332003
    The Silver Clouds of Tomorrow's Rain written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Magic Harp written by poetotoe
    ba da ba da bop! written by hyproglo
    The Grinder written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Truth written by ForgottenGraves
    Duality of Reality written by Chelebel
    again written by vedanta19
    The Poets’ Abode – Episode #2 written by krs3332003
    Givers give, while the takers take. written by Chelebel
    Indigo Prophecy written by Passionbyapathy
    Lanterns of the Wisps written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stem-bowed written by Angeles
    Kissing Eva written by krs3332003
    Poison love Chapter one written by rachelvrolyks
    It's Personal written by Chelebel
    She Said I Fell Off written by Latin King
    The Last Terminal written by Latin King

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry