Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What do you do?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/297/258
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 333
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat do you do?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm stuck in this moment
    Lost in this forever
    Nothing I can do to get out
    The Dark is swallowing me
    I'll never be free
    As my fears start to destroy me
    Taking hold, losing control
    Fighting a losing battle
    I'm so jaded
    My life has faded
    I'm clinging to the egde
    Trying to make a pledge
    I'm moving so fast
    But I'm still coming last
    Maybe I should give up
    Maybe I should let go
    Let all my tears flow
    I've never been this low
    It's time to go
    Time to leave it all behind
    Let me make up my mind
    Goodbye to this life...




    Submitted on 2010-04-13 03:06:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i have to agree with the previous comment started off well could really relate to how you were feeling then became a lot like something my 16 yearold sister would write when she feels down
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by blink | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning sounded really good, but when you got to the line "I've never been this low" it got kind of clichéd.
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by LaylaViolet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184405

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Eyes Of Being chapter 1 .2 written by Glen Bowman
    Titles written by Daniel Barlow
    Suffer At The Wonderment written by AsiaticFox
    The Long Long Journey written by Daniel Barlow
    Slight Attraction and Calm Intrigue(office woman) written by cornonthekob
    Nocturnes written by MyPeriodical
    Were you to sit here written by elephantasia
    Fixtures written by Daniel Barlow
    Eyes Of Being chapter 3 written by Glen Bowman
    The Power of the Wind written by elephantasia
    a simple logic written by Daniel Barlow
    Etymology of Humanity written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vehement God written by Ramneet
    this time around written by Daniel Barlow
    Dead Love written by Lareth
    Return to Nothingness written by elephantasia
    Once Upon A Time In Mexico written by Latin King
    Death and Life written by elephantasia
    Revelations written by Daniel Barlow
    A Great Labour Is In Being Done written by Daniel Barlow
    Same Routine written by Latin King
    begetting latin written by Daniel Barlow
    The Ice and The Stone written by Esophagus1
    Tomorrow written by Daniel Barlow
    Deadfall written by Daniel Barlow
    My mind in blank written by Latin King
    nothing timeless written by Daniel Barlow
    The People We Are written by kingsley
    Words written by Daniel Barlow
    LF 2 written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry