Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What do you do?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    26/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.27 - 63/297/258
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 294
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat do you do?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm stuck in this moment
    Lost in this forever
    Nothing I can do to get out
    The Dark is swallowing me
    I'll never be free
    As my fears start to destroy me
    Taking hold, losing control
    Fighting a losing battle
    I'm so jaded
    My life has faded
    I'm clinging to the egde
    Trying to make a pledge
    I'm moving so fast
    But I'm still coming last
    Maybe I should give up
    Maybe I should let go
    Let all my tears flow
    I've never been this low
    It's time to go
    Time to leave it all behind
    Let me make up my mind
    Goodbye to this life...




    Submitted on 2010-04-13 03:06:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i have to agree with the previous comment started off well could really relate to how you were feeling then became a lot like something my 16 yearold sister would write when she feels down
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by blink | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning sounded really good, but when you got to the line "I've never been this low" it got kind of clichťd.
    | Posted on 2010-04-13 00:00:00 | by LaylaViolet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184405

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fólkvangr written by emwren
    Falling Down written by einna
    End of August written by TheAirWeBreathe
    Just Smile written by mdsouza
    for a certain Scott written by expiring_touch
    Demons written by BlazeFlamme
    Succession written by Passionbyapathy
    Rainy Moods written by Passionbyapathy
    Nightmare Man written by blankscreen
    Free ? written by closetpoet
    Cell Division written by insanegemini
    Fearless written by Passionbyapathy
    Honestly, he's a trip written by SetmyselfonFire
    A Nexus written by Ramneet
    Violet Sky written by Blue Monk
    engrave written by trinityfinger
    I will not think of you written by Daniel Barlow
    No Secrets written by poetotoe
    Addendum to Runes journal of 6/28/2014 written by monad
    Ladder to the Stars written by lynn7
    Curvatures written by trinityfinger
    Son, at sea written by emwren
    Omnipresent Torment written by metallichick786
    King with a touch of Death written by Passionbyapathy
    And I Love Her Still written by MmR
    all else owned -in the world written by Daniel Barlow
    say love (and think of sanctum) written by Daniel Barlow
    Would you like to hear a truth? written by etheror
    For Your Maria written by Daniel Barlow
    Tried written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry