Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Memory Lives ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mysterious one
    ASL Info:    24/f/in my head
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 58/57/17
    Words: 252
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 640
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1430



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Memory Lives ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You find me in a heap
    Lying on the floor
    You pick me up and then
    You take me out the door

    You know where I have been
    You know what I've become
    You don't take me to a doctor
    Oh no, you take me to the son

    You lay me on the alter
    You look to heaven above
    You see this woman oh Lord
    And I know that she is loved

    I open my eyes
    And stretch my arms
    I promise to you
    I'll stay out of harm

    You take me to my home
    And lay me on my bed
    You tell me get some rest
    You could have been dead

    I toss and turn
    I break a sweat
    I know what I need
    I don't care about regret

    I get to my feet
    And head to the door
    I walk down the street
    I only need one more

    I find the man of sin
    I give him what he wants
    The look he gives me next
    Will stay with me and haunt

    I take the tiny stash
    And head back to my place
    I line it up and then
    I bring it to my face

    The room begins to spin
    The light begins to dim
    I close my eyes and then
    I become part of the has-beens

    My memory lives on
    I know this to be true
    My body may be gone
    But my soul is alive inside of you




    Submitted on 2010-04-16 12:57:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow i liked this quite a bit. At first i was wondering what your poem was about but as i read on i started to understand. Nice job and i wish you luck :)
    | Posted on 2010-04-16 00:00:00 | by cherrywillow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184473

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry