Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shopping for Zombiesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 401
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 311
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2539



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShopping for Zombiesdots
    -------------------------------------------






    Meanwhile on the other side of life
    Thereís an eleven-year-old girl
    Learning how to be a wife

    Sheís out shopping on her computer screen
    Itís the latest game
    On the Internet
    For the trackers to get their market set

    And meanwhile itís her only dream
    To go shopping on her computer screen
    She knows how every single product fits
    She knows how she can earn more credits

    Hey little girl itís the only way
    And itís all gonna be you someday
    Youíll be the picture of a fashion queen
    Even if you have to sell your body

    Meanwhile on the other side of life
    Thereís an nine-year-old girl
    Who may not live to be a wife

    Sheís out there scrabbling in the rubbish heap
    Maybe she will find enough to eat
    She doesnít have time for the latest game
    And all her friends are the same

    And meanwhile itís her only dream
    To live like the little girl on the T.V screen
    She knows that ever mouthful counts
    Even as she picks the maggots out

    Hey little girl itís the only way
    At least youíll make it through today
    Youíll be the picture of a fashion queen
    A rag doll of the latest trend

    Meanwhile on the other side of life
    The eleven year-old-girl
    Grows up to be a wife

    Sheís out there shopping like she always did
    But complaining she needs a bigger fridge
    She says the world is in such a state
    But sheís a hundred pounds overweight
    And thereís something crying in her soul
    Something she was never shown
    Something in her heart which hangs on her lips
    But itís a life of shopping for zombies

    And meanwhile on her T.V screen
    Thereís a ragged little girl she has never known
    Picking her way through a rubbish heap
    Ankle deep; looking for something to eat

    But itís the gentle little smile from soft brown eyes
    Cutting through lie of our lives
    She picks up something and rushes home
    The proud little owner of a chicken bone

    And meanwhile on the other side
    We all just accept; this is life
    And thereís something crying in our souls
    Something weíd rather not know
    Something in our hearts and hanging on our lips
    That itís a life of shopping
    For zombies




    Submitted on 2010-04-18 09:25:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the zombie comparisons in both poems (though to be honest I'm a huge zombie fan) And even though you're not talking about literal zombies the message still rings true. Falling into society's traps, walled in by the unrelenting media, desensitised by television "We all just accept; this is life" It's sad. Everyone has it in their heart somewhere to do good yet few take the chance to escape from their "reality" and actually make a difference. Too caught up in their own lives.....sad
    | Posted on 2010-05-15 00:00:00 | by all2rest | [ Reply to This ]
      Zombies again, huh?
    To be honest that's why I looked at this peice.
    You should branch out and find a different comparision. It's a decent poem, but I can tell it was written by someone young. IDK how old you are but it seems like it was written by someone in their teens. But, it was really good for someone of that age group.

    Carrie:)
    | Posted on 2010-04-21 00:00:00 | by Carosuel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184505

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Etiquette written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Where? written by ParanoidParadox
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    You read free written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry