Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Smallest Feelingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Colten
    ASL Info:    19/Man?lol/U of I
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 62/99/43
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 467
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1149



    Description:
       Is loneliness a jealousy?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Smallest Feelingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The smallest feeling
    Is a tear felt with each pull of gravity;
    The saline texture so often found
    In sadness...

    To be content with a sigh
    Thereby silence becomes so loud.
    ...
    And to look for a brief moment
    As she sits not so close to me.

    If only this tear which screams to me
    Could be heard by her...

    Yet,

    Does this inner longing call for her
    A friend in Love,
    Or do I simply desire a receptacle for sorrow?

    . . .

    And to look for a brief moment
    As she sits not so close to me,
    I will hold onto my ravaged soul
    And the thousand corpses of tears

    To save her from myself.

    For the smallest feeling
    Is a tear felt with each pull of gravity's weeping;
    The saline texture so often found
    On a lonely man's cheek...

    For in this play called life
    There must be sacrifice.
    But does that mean the story ends
    In sadness...








    Submitted on 2010-04-19 17:57:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked your use of words and the pauses and how the stanzas were broken up gave this piece that much more strength and emotion. The idea of a single droplet of water insinuating so much emotion isn't something I would typically think of, yet, as you so greatly portrayed, it holds so much sorrow in this context.
    Excellent!
    Ren
    | Posted on 2010-04-24 00:00:00 | by Renada | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you make imagery of tears having ears. :]
    | Posted on 2010-04-22 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184532

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The World written by jjd
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry