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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 1,000 Yard Staredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 75/186/232
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 912
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1242



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots1,000 Yard Staredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fire, don't lose your rhythm in the wake of destruction.
    Fire, I need your burning flame to keep my fears at bay.
    Fire, please just stay a while longer.

    Wind, don't become silent as the storm reaches climax.
    Wind, I need your courage that sweeps past my face.
    Wind, please just stay a moment more.

    Water, don't freeze until the seasons ending.
    Water, I need your soft caress that soothes and mends.
    Water, please don't shift from my embrace.

    Earth, don't crumble as you tilt and shake.
    Earth, I need your strong resolve to survive through the day.
    Earth, please stand by my side.

    Blood, don't stain these hands.
    Sand, don't let me sink.
    Steel, don't let them suffer a moment longer.

    Hope, I need your helping and guiding hand.
    Love, I need your saving grace over my life.
    God, I need you to exist if you're listening.

    Life, please let it be worth something when all has ended.
    Death, please let it come quick.

    Eyes, sullen and left to die.
    A 1,000 yard stare reflects our time.





    Submitted on 2010-04-23 16:24:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It sounds like the personal ode of a worthy man absolutely intact with his elemental surrounds.
    I like your pattern here.Once I got to Earth I did'nt think you would stretch the effort to showcase the ability to make the reader explore further.Excellent piece here Dustin.Another reason I'm not disappointed is because of the mechanics around the first four elements is that the thought of each element reiterates itself twice in all of three.It almost as like you wanted each element to stand as a tripod with Fire,Wind,Water and Earth.
    It gets personal with the final elements which you crossover into another world.You,your body, self etc.I say that based on Sand,Blood,Steel,Hope,Death and most of all God.With those I think you did a cool job with describing what can lie inside a mans heart with little worry and the perspective of a warrior.Because in certain cultures and sub cultures the elements mean the warrior shall cherish and respect the the planet he lives on sorta speak.Anyways cheers to ya bud.FAV.I likes again.I'm glad you put Serious far as categorial intent is concerned bc I take this serious.

    RG
    | Posted on 2010-09-16 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]


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