Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ghostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mistiekidd
    ASL Info:    31 like it f Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 37/48/65
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 507
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 942



    Description:
       This is only the second song I have ever written.
    Just a change of paste. Something that just flowed from my heart. I like it, but then again I wrote it.
    When you read it think the music to House of the rising sun, or Nirvana, or maybe Audio slave. I hope you will like it or give me an idea on how to improve!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGhostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My girl, My girl
    She came to me,
    missing was her smile.
    She knew we were ment
    to be,
    yet she hadn't been mine
    in a while.
    I lost her to a ghost you
    see,
    but being a ghost had drove
    her wild.
    Her hair black, face so white.
    She seems so dead inside.
    My girl, My girl
    Missing for a while,
    never seen what others have.
    She wondered in the fog,
    she was not like the other
    girls.
    She was different by a mile.
    Her beauty was in her missing
    smile, it's been missing quite
    a while!
    My girl, My girl
    She calls to me,
    she needs me by her side.
    My girl, My girl
    she hides her pain.
    This pain would drive
    most insane.
    She is an angel
    who has lived through
    hell.
    My girl, the only one
    of her kind.




    Submitted on 2010-04-23 22:17:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i cant put my finger on why i love this so much. but i do. the repetition is perfect. i kept hearing Nirvana playing in the background of my mind as i read this so that prolly help me like it more. but everything was so simple, to story and the rhymes and everything but it was lovely.

    i dont know.

    i love it though.
    | Posted on 2010-04-24 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184605

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th of July written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry