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    dots Submission Name: Ghostdots

    Author: mistiekidd
    ASL Info:    31 like it f Al
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 37/48/65
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 445
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 942

       This is only the second song I have ever written.
    Just a change of paste. Something that just flowed from my heart. I like it, but then again I wrote it.
    When you read it think the music to House of the rising sun, or Nirvana, or maybe Audio slave. I hope you will like it or give me an idea on how to improve!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    My girl, My girl
    She came to me,
    missing was her smile.
    She knew we were ment
    to be,
    yet she hadn't been mine
    in a while.
    I lost her to a ghost you
    but being a ghost had drove
    her wild.
    Her hair black, face so white.
    She seems so dead inside.
    My girl, My girl
    Missing for a while,
    never seen what others have.
    She wondered in the fog,
    she was not like the other
    She was different by a mile.
    Her beauty was in her missing
    smile, it's been missing quite
    a while!
    My girl, My girl
    She calls to me,
    she needs me by her side.
    My girl, My girl
    she hides her pain.
    This pain would drive
    most insane.
    She is an angel
    who has lived through
    My girl, the only one
    of her kind.

    Submitted on 2010-04-23 22:17:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i cant put my finger on why i love this so much. but i do. the repetition is perfect. i kept hearing Nirvana playing in the background of my mind as i read this so that prolly help me like it more. but everything was so simple, to story and the rhymes and everything but it was lovely.

    i dont know.

    i love it though.
    | Posted on 2010-04-24 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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