Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Malice in Wonderlanddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SammySueYou
    ASL Info:    23/f/nm
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 90/78/30
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 955
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1081



    Description:
       I wrote this based on what I am going through right now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMalice in Wonderlanddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I created a world inside of my head,
    I chose to live my life there instead.
    I abandoned my friendships and family ties,
    I replaced the truth with various lies.
    inside a wonderland lacking of rules,
    full with carnivorous rabbits and bumbling fools.
    I will never be deceived by the friends in my brain,
    they can't make me worse because I am already insane.
    A twisted reversal of what's inside Alice,
    a blinding tunnel smothered in malice.
    I can't be late because I am decades too early,
    the mad twatter came off as mad hatted and surly.
    I tried to make plans for the tea party at eight,
    but I had to cancel and he grew very irate.
    I went on to see the wicked red queen,
    she told me nice things when I was told she was mean.
    Never listen to a small towns perception,
    learn for yourself if it is truth or deception.
    I had to leave this place and travel back to reality,
    so much time passed and relationships had reached their finality...




    Submitted on 2010-04-24 21:51:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very well written, and it sounds a lot like what I've gone through before. Even though it's hard at times, reality is the best place we can be. That place that you speak of is made up of false expectations, and will drive you into the ground with disappointments... so it's good you know now. Make amends with those who are important.

    Please Keep Writing :P
    istalkmurdoch
    | Posted on 2010-04-28 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184623

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry