Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: R.I.P my lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: robbie
    ASL Info:    20/m/mi
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 53/54/36
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1157



    Description:
       i lost my wife our son will be 8 months soon


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsR.I.P my lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i lie awake every night
    wondering if im doing it right
    and if I made you proud
    sitting up there on a cloud
    there is just so much that i miss
    i still long for one last kiss
    tears just role off my face
    their is no one here to take your place
    me and our son now against the world
    my defences up and fists curled
    he is still so young when you had to leave
    i dont know what im gonna do when he tugs on my sleave
    and ask's where you went
    and all i can tell him is the time that we spent
    i still hope for that dream when you come to me
    and then ill once again get to see
    your beautiful face and smile too
    and hear you say i love you
    but untill then i lay here with a small smile on my face
    knowing that your in a better place
    i'll miss you till the day i die
    but one day i wont always cry
    at the thought of you gone from my side
    but im not going to run and hide
    i have to be strong and stand up tall
    just give me a sign im doiong okay
    and today starts a new day




    Submitted on 2010-04-25 06:16:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hmm I think you could work on your rhythm first of all, it goes kind of rough in parts of it.

    I'm sorry for whatever happened although time does heal your wounds, whether we forget about caring or things just get better. Talking usually helps tho :/

    good luck, keep writing
    | Posted on 2010-04-26 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184626

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You... written by rememberplaydoh
    el paraiso que se entiende al momento de la muerte written by MyPeriodical
    being direct, it's written by Daniel Barlow
    Within a structure written by Daniel Barlow
    For Joanne written by rememberplaydoh
    Beloved written by Daniel Barlow
    motivations, eclectic. written by Daniel Barlow
    Between the walls written by taintedsmiles
    a given written by Daniel Barlow
    Terrified part two written by MyPeriodical
    Terrified written by MyPeriodical
    Ahem written by Daniel Barlow
    your feet, your flared nostrils, your forearms written by Daniel Barlow
    Kill written by Daniel Barlow
    proclamations to the void written by cornonthekob
    At The Bottom written by MyPeriodical
    Emotions written by taintedsmiles
    Global Death Do Incite written by MyPeriodical
    Sweet You written by Daniel Barlow
    Sólo por pensar asi written by MyPeriodical
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sun-meeting written by Daniel Barlow
    Position written by Daniel Barlow
    Terrified part three written by MyPeriodical
    untitled#1 written by Daniel Barlow
    what a thought could do to you written by Daniel Barlow
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    The Inate written by MyPeriodical
    Only One You written by Darkwarrior
    For serious written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry