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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bottled Up Insidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deadpoet
    ASL Info:    18/f/ Miami, Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 44/66/27
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 1166
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 915



    Description:
       A few thoughts of someone close to me I have of. Actually some that WAS close to me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBottled Up Insidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bottled up inside are the words I never said.
    The feelings that I hide,
    The lines you never read.
    You can see it in my eyes,
    Read it on my face.
    Trapped are the lies of the past with memories that linger,
    Won't seem to go away.
    Why can I be happier?

    Today is brand new day.
    Yesterdays are over,
    Even though the hunting is not.
    Nothing lasts forever,
    I must cherish what I've got.
    Don't take my love for granted for soon it will be gone.
    All you've ever wanted the love you thought you'd won.
    The hurt I'm feeling now won't disapper over night.
    But somehow, someday,
    Everything will turn out alright.
    No more wishing for the past,
    It wasn't meant to be,
    Didn't seem to last.
    So I have to set you free.




    Submitted on 2004-07-24 20:13:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yesterdays are over,
    Even though the hunting is not.

    LOVELY. it was a "sigh" but then back to the darkness. dont think you got that but its good.

    The feelings that I hide,
    The lines you never read.
    You can see it in my eyes,
    Read it on my face.

    liked this. dont know why. got me into the mood of your words.
    | Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      no darkest flaw is wrong.. 'words' is plural.. so obviously you'd say 'are the words..'

    anyway.. there is one line that really jumped out at me in this poem.. "The lines you never read"... i think that as a writer.. that you choose to use that in particular to portray how you feel about this person... i think it emphasises how much it has effected you. what could be worse for a writer than not to be read? it is the ultimate in being cast aside. and with just one sentence you manage to highlight the pain in a very professional way. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this peice. but I have one suggestion, in the first line, I think you should change "are" to "is", it would make mor sense. but other than that the idea was a good one, and letting someone go is never easy. keep it up...
    | Posted on 2004-07-24 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]



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