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    dots Submission Name: a list of lovers [and commentary]dots

    Author: Someones Epiphany
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 4454/2106/161
    Words: 350
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 969
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2136

       based on leonard cohen's "the pure list and commentary" though his is much better than ever mine could be...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa list of lovers [and commentary]dots

    “sorry the number you have dialed is now busy…”
    symphonies trip the void
    and the meteors in my mind ceased their collision course
    tomorrow is dust
    do this in remembrance
    some nights long
    i miss you like a bullet
    the key of A minor
    your obituary read beautifully
    a blues song waiting to happen
    to be continued

    “sorry the number you have dialed is now busy…” there’s nothing separating us but hungry static, thousand of miles of hungry static muffling i love you’s and muting longing sighs of lonely

    symphonies trip the void… me and my ghetto gangsta self passing the time hippin’, hoppin’ and beer drinkin’ in order to make [beer] label love hearts to fill the missing

    and the meteors in my mind ceased their collision course; if only the hecklers would quit their search for their favourite rock; i have no desire to get stoned again today

    tomorrow is dust. eyes take time to adjust to intruding beams of light through curtains still trying to pull themselves together while dust dances in attempt to coerce us, trying to encourage us to embrace the new day

    do this in remembrance of bloody jesus. not baby jesus or water into wine jesus but bloody jesus with his heart exposed and his holy light and is “this is for you” eyes

    some nights long distance can be fatal; rewriting the fairytale based on misheard lyrics

    i miss you like a bullet; my heart a misfiring gun iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou never hitting the spot, never sounding complete, always a dull thud on impact over long distance calls

    the key of A minor. there’s somewhat of an ache where my brain used to be… A minor disruption to an open mind policy

    your obituary read beautifully- a modern day icarus; rope instead of feathers, rafters instead of wings. im not suggesting icarus was suicidal but the end result is the same. most times i forget youre dead though ive finally relinquished my hope from the horizon


    Submitted on 2010-04-28 05:17:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, there's an idea here I want to steal and alter somewhat... You have a great way of saying things through form and stylistic unconventionality.
    | Posted on 2010-11-12 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me cry...
    Imagine that... you making water spring from a stone.

    Be careful with those random miracles.
    | Posted on 2010-04-29 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Jaydee. Powerful, and I was totally punched in the gut with the line about bloody Jesus, and the "this is for you eyes". Incredibly powerful, so of course, I don't have much else to say. Sometimes, maybe the greatest critic is silence, anyways. Sometimes, silence is better than words, anyways.

    | Posted on 2010-04-28 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      so i favorited this this morning and when i did, it didn't add this and it deleted my other favorites.

    it's nice to see something from you jayde. and i think what i have always loved about your writes is that they are layered. there is always this sense of emotion wrapped around it all. a deepness.

    i was thinking this morning that there is a pain in loving. a pain. it has a heavy to it. an ache. and it comes along with all the goodness.

    idk. i suppose what is most important, is that there is someone on the other side who loves you back. loves you back.

    it will be soon. soon. and life changing. i am sure it is all frustrating and confusing and daunting. but hang in there.

    i haven't said much in this ramble, so an unspecified, really. i hate sometimes that i can't articulate what i really want to say. anyhoo.
    | Posted on 2010-04-28 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]

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