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    dots Submission Name: OXYdots

    Author: franki jorge
    ASL Info:    19/f/ca
    Elite Ratio:    0.82 - 5/12/54
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1407

       written in jail 2/22/2010

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    he says dont worry
    it will be fine
    settle down
    and snort the damn line

    my subconscious says no
    but i want it so bad
    if i dont do it
    i'll make him mad

    i hate doing that
    so i take the bill
    sniff as hard as i can
    he asks "how do you feel?"

    i hard to describe
    i feel kinda tired
    but at the same time
    i pretty wired

    "do you like it?" he asks
    i really dont know
    its a type of euphoria
    i cant exactly show

    it feels so good
    but it goes away fast
    set up another
    i want this to last

    he heard of slamming
    and tried it before me
    then i got curious
    so he called tommy

    i was scared
    and wouldnt stay still
    he held my arm down
    and shot the pill

    i couldnt believe
    how amazing i felt
    pure ecstasy
    i could melt

    months and months
    baby's almost here
    all the money's gone
    and he's my biggest fear

    everything's gone
    ive got nothing to show
    all the pills are gone
    i feel so low

    i lost everything
    to a bunch of little pills
    its name is OXY
    the small shit kills

    Submitted on 2010-04-28 05:33:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hm. Simple. Direct. I liked it. A lot. I think everyone definetely goes there, to a dark never moving place. Forced to do something that you aren't exactly sure you don't want to do already. There were two little itty bitty typos like,

    " i hard to describe
    i feel kinda tired
    but at the same time
    i pretty wired"

    I believe it should be...

    "Its hard to describe
    I feel kinda tired
    But at the same time
    I'm pretty wired"

    Anyhow, great job! Keep it up.

    | Posted on 2010-05-02 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]

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