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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: OXYdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: franki jorge
    ASL Info:    19/f/ca
    Elite Ratio:    0.82 - 5/12/54
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1407



    Description:
       written in jail 2/22/2010


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOXYdots
    -------------------------------------------


    he says dont worry
    it will be fine
    settle down
    and snort the damn line

    my subconscious says no
    but i want it so bad
    if i dont do it
    i'll make him mad

    i hate doing that
    so i take the bill
    sniff as hard as i can
    he asks "how do you feel?"

    i hard to describe
    i feel kinda tired
    but at the same time
    i pretty wired

    "do you like it?" he asks
    i really dont know
    its a type of euphoria
    i cant exactly show

    it feels so good
    but it goes away fast
    set up another
    i want this to last

    he heard of slamming
    and tried it before me
    then i got curious
    so he called tommy

    i was scared
    and wouldnt stay still
    he held my arm down
    and shot the pill

    i couldnt believe
    how amazing i felt
    pure ecstasy
    i could melt

    months and months
    baby's almost here
    all the money's gone
    and he's my biggest fear

    everything's gone
    ive got nothing to show
    all the pills are gone
    i feel so low

    i lost everything
    to a bunch of little pills
    its name is OXY
    the small shit kills




    Submitted on 2010-04-28 05:33:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hm. Simple. Direct. I liked it. A lot. I think everyone definetely goes there, to a dark never moving place. Forced to do something that you aren't exactly sure you don't want to do already. There were two little itty bitty typos like,

    " i hard to describe
    i feel kinda tired
    but at the same time
    i pretty wired"

    I believe it should be...

    "Its hard to describe
    I feel kinda tired
    But at the same time
    I'm pretty wired"

    Anyhow, great job! Keep it up.

    --Daisy
    | Posted on 2010-05-02 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]


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