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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rosealiehale
    ASL Info:    22/F/Las Vegas
    Elite Ratio:    1.65 - 72/39/25
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 767
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darling I loved you,
    You put me to shame.

    My hearts been broken
    and you're to blame.

    I don't want your lies, your so full of it, please just leave.

    I dont need you,
    Your a fucking tease.

    Your love isn't real.
    I can't take the pain.

    And here I lay, my lifes been shattered and completely slain.




    Submitted on 2010-04-29 13:42:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds more like "My Hate" rather then "My Love"... I am really not into the foul language in poetry... but to each their own...

    As far as structure.. you need to have a better syllable count ... and complete the rhyme as started in the first stanza...

    emotionally I almost felt your pain...

    work on it and it could be a perfect poem!!

    Thank you for sharing /Lauren
    | Posted on 2010-05-07 00:00:00 | by ilaurenloves | [ Reply to This ]
      letting out anger is good,but love is all we have.peace,it could use some work.
    | Posted on 2010-05-01 00:00:00 | by crispylove | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you need to work on that and go to the councler thank you
    | Posted on 2010-04-29 00:00:00 | by angelagresham19 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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