Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Withindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Quin
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 39/39/21
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1030



    Description:
       Beware your shadows.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Amongst the darkness, bold and green,
    there lurk things which cannot be seen;
    with golden eye, and cloven hoof,
    or maybe wings and fanged tooth.
    And in this darkness, deep and dim,
    these creatures seek, with heart, amid
    the shining comfort of the day,
    our own bright sorrows - held at bay.

    To things that which in darkness dwell,
    our hate, our pain, our sadness fell,
    are delicious, tasty sweet,
    and make their hollow souls complete.
    And we who bask in light and sound
    should well remember what is found
    when one falls too far, too deep -
    into loathing sorrow, steep:

    For if you spend your time with hate,
    you will begin to contemplate;
    to taste despair from foreign lips,
    the taste of tears and sunken ships.
    Be cautious when you deal with pain!
    In case, in dealing, you became
    a thing like those who live within
    the heartless darkness, cold and grim.




    Submitted on 2010-05-02 16:01:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked the second stanza, it was very well written, and your use of certain words is fantastic.

    please keep writing

    istalkmurdoch
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    184765

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Linger written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry