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I am looking with a broken heart, afraid of my next move. I never expected to be this girl, or to live with this knot in my stomach. Barely living, torn, hurting, and completly confused. We both want the same thing, we both know how this story should end. Happily ever after. Yet you, the one that has so little to lose, your the one not willing to fight, you simply refuse. As if it weren't bad enough, it's like you have no heart, you leave me with no reason, and no explanation on exactly why you've torn our world apart. I feel so small, so very used. You had no morales when it served you, all the sudden it is complicated and now you do. This is not the kind of thing you change your mind about, there are lives involved, hearts that count. Once upon a time I had a heart, I could care. Now I know, I see clear the way it is, so I promise myself I'll never feel or love this way again. That is the way this story really ends. |
I feel like I'm going around bashing people's poems today, so perhaps I'm just in a critical mood, but anyway: Your poem didn't make me feel anything. While you have been able to vocalize your thoughts, and I have understood them, I'm just not feeling anything. Suggestions? Shorten it, use some images and try to involve the reader's senses. Right now it's just a barrage of words. | Posted on 2010-05-03 00:00:00 | by albery | [ Reply to This ] | |