[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Devil and Mariedots

    Author: RisingSon
    Elite Ratio:    1.69 - 7/79/52
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2052

       This is an old one that was previously posted on here. I needed the words again to put it to music.

    I'm aware that the hanging words at the end of every second and fourth line is annoying, but it's just how it reads in my head.

    A "pistole" is a gold coin, in this case a Spanish one still leftover from the conquistadors' time. It is pronounced "pi-stohl."

    Marie is pronounced "Ma-REE."

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Devil and Mariedots

    Marie slipped outside
    and made for the shoal, she
    held in her hand
    a golden pistole, it was
    all nearly silent
    and the moon sang a song
    of the mourning of night
    and the coming of dawn

    Though her path was dark
    her feet turned no stone, for she'd
    learned the way
    when she was alone, it was
    all nearly silent
    and she hastened her step
    for the morning would bring
    what the night had long kept

    A bend and she came
    to the mound in the spring, she
    lifted her head
    to quietly sing, it was
    all nearly silent
    her voice ever low
    seranading the night
    for the life of her beau

    Her face flushed with red,
    her hair in her teeth, she
    waited for him
    alone by the reeds, it was
    all nearly silent
    when the sun first did rise
    and her mourning lament
    brought the cruelest surprise

    He came with the shadows,
    his heart in his hands, he
    slid with the breeze
    and the slope of the land, it was
    all nearly silent
    the blood dripping slow
    from the hole in his chest
    to the dirt down below

    But she saw not a move,
    and heard not a sound, her
    eyes never saw
    the hole in the mound, it was
    all nearly silent
    when he reached for her dress
    and her hands --- they fell
    like a stone from her chest

    She spun on her toes
    and made as to scream, but he'd
    already grabbed
    her dress at the seams, it was
    all nearly silent
    as he took her down
    and forever they lay
    in his home underground

    And obscured in the mist
    a man patiently stood, his
    hands at his side,
    his face cloaked by hood, it was
    all nearly silent
    when he snatched the pistole
    and into the mist,
    he took Marie's soul

    Submitted on 2010-05-03 13:47:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That was one of the best things I've ever read on this site. It flowed perfect and did a grand job of telling a haunting story! A lot of stuff I read on this site is either wierd or not very original, your piece was perfect. Four stars!!!!!
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by mistiekidd | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an absolutely beautiful piece.. The rhyme and flow of it is perfectly timed and my heard beat out a rhythm as I read it.. Masterfully done!
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]
      James, you're one of my favorite writers on this site.
    Despite my bashing(s) of the majority of your work in the past.
    | Posted on 2010-05-03 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Bond written by saartha
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Every..... written by jackz
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]