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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hear it Throughdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 304
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 516
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2041



    Description:
       I know, not quite the poem I usually write. No structure or scheme or pattern. True story, though.... kinda.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHear it Throughdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The darker side of things
    Not speaking of good, evil, right, or wrong
    Nor a more dimmed light, though metaphorically close
    But where that line in "reality" blurs

    Let's not focus on how you get there
    But what this place is like
    So when you finally go crazy
    You will know what to expect

    First defining the basic
    The well-known points of the insane
    The doing nothing because even screaming
    Doesn't seem quite drastic enough

    Then the tangible objects become questionable
    But these are the common knowns
    And the place I'm speaking of is more specific
    It comes from experience, first hand

    Everything, the walls become translucent
    And you know you could walk right through
    If the sounds weren't stopping you
    They send chills of panic down your spine

    Imagine a monotonous pained moan
    Crossed with a dog whistle
    Like the droning of a machine
    So high pitched, probing inside

    I kept fighting to get outside
    I knew somehow that would help
    I eventually made it through the noise
    But I do not recall twisting the handle

    Was the door ever even ajar
    I believe I walked right through it
    Because objects don't really exist here
    Only the words

    I didn't even realize until later
    That the sounds were ever words to begin
    I could just feel them stopping me
    But I fought my way through

    And I stood outside in the moonlight
    A few moments passed and I noticed quiet near
    The walls weren't real to me
    But the sound was ever so there
    Yet, somehow, the walls were there to sound

    I could go through the wall
    The sound formed against it
    Not quite muted, but muffled from where I stood
    And it muffled it just enough for my sanity to return




    Submitted on 2010-05-03 19:31:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This comes across as really ethereal to me. There were places it came on quite strong, and then there were verses that were a little too vague to make the sort of impression they could have. It is also possible that this is something quite personal and that it's supposed to be vague to others.

    My favourite part is the last two verses of the third stanza, "the doing nothing, because even screaming doesn't seem drastic enough." The theme somewhat shifts after this, and then it becomes like grasping at something when you're not sure it's even there.

    Yet, there is a part of me that thinks I know what you mean. I've had these moments too; something quite beyond panic that is almost a profound detachment, and though it is not quite acceptance, it comes close. One never becomes completely used to such feelings, but can become numb to them. I've had moments when I felt as though I was floating somehow beyond and yet inside myself. There is a nothingness there that allows me to even look upon my misery with mild amusement as I watch it unfold. I know what is going to happen, and I know I'm doing it to myself, but I just let it happen, as though I'm conducting some kind of odd experiment just to gauge my own reaction. Does that sound strange?

    I believe the "wall" you speak of at the end is the end of the line you spoke of at the beginning, so there is some continuity here. It's the line either you or your subconscious mind draws that keeps you from truly going over the edge. After awhile you can learn to trust the stability of this invisible wall because you know you won't completely fall apart. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't fear falling apart as much as I used to, and maybe you have reached this same place. This allows a little more exploration of your more insane parts, and keeps you insulated like some kind of life jacket.

    Hope I'm on the right track, but that's what it meant to me.

    soul-hugger
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall, a nice write. The 2nd to 6th verses were the best, IMO.

    The major drawback is...

    The first verse is confusing. "that line" doesn't have a clear antecedent. The 3rd line is too big of a mental jump (read: incomprehensible) from the 2nd line and even now I'm unsure about what "a more dimmed light" means.

    No idea what the last 2 paragraphs mean either.
    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by albery | [ Reply to This ]
      I may be a little slow sometimes, yet I believe you were talking about insanity and being locked up for it, I could be way off. It was an interesting
    read, I like poems based on reality and expierence. I like it, I just hope I was right on what it was about.
    Thanks

    Peace, Love,& craziness
    Mistiekidd


    | Posted on 2010-05-04 00:00:00 | by mistiekidd | [ Reply to This ]


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