for a moment there, i was confused, but it's easy to see as you read on that there's a struggle of confusion. the disillusionment is evident. also, the sad but, true sting of betrayal. the pain of broken dreams that don't seem to stop mocking/dancing in your head. believe me, this happened to me once before. i drove myself insane for a few years after. finally, i did a most painful of all thing; i let go. it was like a security blanket that was knatty and filthy; useless. i do have to say that this write impressed me with it's sincerity; vulnerability. another thing, the tables are turned; i found marco in georgia, he makes my ex firehorsie look like a candidate for elmer's glue.