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    dots Submission Name: Another Let Downdots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1391


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnother Let Downdots

    On broken hearts we fly away,
    Away from unknown ends;
    Into the sky, as the light of day
    Away from the normal bends,

    Away from elegiac sounds of truth,
    And misanthropic shows of love;
    Amid the clouds that provide us proof
    That efforts are never enough.

    We’d fallen freely on cold, hard ground-
    Only seeing the grass and space;
    The trees and flowers all around-
    With our fancy interlaced.

    Interlocked fingertips coupled in,
    The perfume we breathed too hard;
    The toxic drug that wasn’t sin
    Just borderline unsmart,

    Then agitations caked in grace,
    When we thought we knew it all;
    Lifeless words breathed out in blades
    Right after we had craved to fall,

    Deserts sticky and ground too numb.
    The perfume begun to fade;
    Unsubstantial weeds begun
    Our bed to dominate.

    Crawling, hunting toward life-
    The few drops, we kept within.
    We didn’t fight, they took the knife-
    And we started to fly again.

    On broken hearts we fly away,
    Away from hasty ends;
    Toward smiles and carefree laughs.
    But craving to fall again-


    Submitted on 2010-05-05 17:41:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was an interesting piece of work, although I find my self lost in the end. Who is the let down? The person you were with, or are you talking abut all the other things around you that are sucking the life out of the relationship? I find it hard to follow.

    But I really liked the line:

    "The toxic drug that wasn’t sin
    Just borderline unsmart,"

    because I've had the same exact thought at times.

    Your a good writer, I can't wait to see more of your work

    | Posted on 2010-05-07 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]

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