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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oppisite views on wolvesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cyberpoet
    ASL Info:    21/Male/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 28/18/22
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 601



    Description:
       I wrote this for english class in like ten minutes of brainstorming.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOppisite views on wolvesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the thick forest of trees and brush you'll find this majestic beast. In a moon lit clearing it howls its tune. Eyes glowing, it stands glistening in the moonlight. Even with its cozy fur it stands broad shoulders and rippling muscles graceful and brilliant as ever

    In the thick forest of trees and brush you'll find this sketchy creature. Yellow eyes that glare wanting to clench its hunger it lunges at you through the shadows. Dark fur and the glowing eyes is all you see. The coward there’s more as they close in you wake up and realize it was only a dream.




    Submitted on 2010-05-06 13:24:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Try to be a little more cryptic with this one. It sounds like you are trying to describe a painting rather than paint a visual treat with words. Also, use more line breaks.

    Of course, these are the suggestions of only one reader preference. If you are anything like me, you will leave it the way it is, but keep it in mind for the next poem. Ha.


    MyX
    | Posted on 2010-05-13 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm. Good piece overall. Just a couple of spelling errors:

    1) In the title, "oppisite" should be "Opposite"
    2) "shoulder" should be plural
    3) "relize" should be "realize"

    Other than that, pretty good. Wolves are an interesting thing to write about, I don't normally think them to be enormous and watching in the darkness. Anyhow, i'm going to start rambling. Good write for just thinking this up in ten minutes, can't wait to read what more than ten minutes produces. Have a great night, and keep up the work!

    --Daisy
    | Posted on 2010-05-06 00:00:00 | by sensetofeel | [ Reply to This ]


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