Description: this is just some feelings right now. i lost my grandmother a month and a half ago to a battle with lukemia and am not dealing with it very well and now i lost my other grandmother to lung cancer so forgive me if this doesnt flow well or is choppy but right now its raw and honest and exposed enjoy
Alone in this world
I've long since shut,
All points of entry.
This pain is mine alone
its not right to share it
Keep them on the outside
So they always look in.
They dont get it im protecting
My fragile heart from new pain.
I dont wanna do this
But what choice is there?
Its hopelessly lonely being
So alone on this side
But there is no other way
I cant handle this alone
But there is no other option
I cant hurt them
Yet i want them to feel
All i feel deep in my heart
I want someone to hurt like me
I want some one to cry like i do
I want them to bleed as i bleed
Because this shit never ends
It never gets better never easier
It doesnt get numb with time
It chokes me till i cant breathe
It blinds me till i see blackness
Blocking light from warming me
Letting the darkness control me
To wrap me in chains keeping me prisoner
To cut me deeply, slowly bleedin out
So the darkness can consume me
and devour me
and own me
wow this is deep I'm sorry to hear of your loss and hope you are doing better now. I think its crazy how certain events in our lifes makes us look at things at a different light than we normally would. i really enjoyed this.. keep writing
I'm so sorry about your loss, Joy! Love is so scarce and hard to find in this world, that it is devastating to loose someone whom you love dearly, and who loves you. The hurt never dies; you just finally, somehow, get used to it. They leave you with precious memories, and watch down over you with love from the Heavens. They are physically gone, but you'll find that they'll never forsake you.
to be honest I'm a bit confused, if this is all abut your grandma, why would you want other people to feel bad about it? I mean it sucks when someone you love dies, but this isn't anyway to react, or at least it's not very healthy. When your coping with something this big you very well should talk to people, that's how you gain closure, and how you move on. otherwise your just going in destructive circles >_< I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope that something brightens up your day soon.