[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Only The Sound of Breathingdots

    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 339
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1525


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOnly The Sound of Breathingdots

    Sliding third dimensional
    The numbness seeps out of the walls
    A trick show horror festival
    Of a raging silence, heard before

    And there in the vacant passage
    Where the world glides by it all
    Strangers than the strangest
    The bullets proof of isolation

    Only the sound of breathing
    The voices whispering to yourself
    Only the steady trembling
    Of the arms you long to feel

    But there’s nothing in the sound of smoke
    The heavy thumping of a heart
    No footsteps in the doorway
    No words you can impart

    No one left
    When the knot is cold
    Bitter cracked in emptiness
    Pulls the noose around your neck

    Only the sound of breathing
    Those voices whispering to yourself
    Only the steady trembling
    Of the arms you once felt

    And are you really living
    Just the meter of a clock
    The day will fall, the night will come
    So to, with the darkness of these dreams

    Pawned away your oxygen
    Rushed against the storm
    The figure in the distance
    Walking onward all alone

    Only the sound of breathing
    The voices cracking inside yourself
    Only the steady trembling
    Of the arms you no longer feel

    Footsteps from the doorway
    As the numbness seeps out of the walls
    Walk the walking death within

    Submitted on 2010-05-08 16:14:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I find it very artistic with it's form, delivery and especially it's honesty.This is the feeling some ppl get and keep in the closet.You exposed it so on point.I like this write, it'll go in the box for me.Sometimes something can be totally true when it's written in dark fashion.Keep up those great thinkin processes.
    | Posted on 2010-05-09 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]