[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Footstepsdots

    Author: gothgirl101
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pelham,AL
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 10/41/17
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 515
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 391


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Dear little child
    Wherever you go
    I'll never forget you
    That's what i want you to know
    You may still be tiny
    but you won't be forever
    Just follow my footsteps
    And i'll take you wherever
    You'll grow to be smart
    Very smart indeed
    But this you won't be forever
    Is a real tiny seed.

    Submitted on 2010-05-11 13:03:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is lovely, cute, poignant and just an excellent write! I loved it! Short but pithy and potent. A fine, fine piece of work!! michael
    | Posted on 2010-08-30 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice, like an arrow the heart good. It is just that amazing. The passion put into it and the sense of foreverness, breathes a life into it. Mine aren't good because my passion burns out. Good work comes from the heart and I feel the echos of passion marked on this poem.
    | Posted on 2010-08-25 00:00:00 | by 13thprotector | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, Savannah this poem is really a very nice poem. You tried to write a free verse but you wrote a blank verse, ie. you use no rhyme (abcbdefegheh) but I can feel a soft rhythm in the poem, which is really great, the only drawback in your poem is the lack of the figures of speech, look in "follow my footsteps" it is a metaphor, but it seems to me that it is an old one, ie. it is a cliché. What I want to say is that you are a really talented poet all you need to do is that you will need to improve your use of the figures of speech.
    | Posted on 2010-05-26 00:00:00 | by Duke Medhat | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    Summer written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]