Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Portraitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jayisademon
    ASL Info:    22/M/SoILL
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 129/81/88
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 348
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1382



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPortraitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The paint dripped off my face and hands.
    A swirl of blues, reds, and incandescent white.
    No, this was not a portrait of America,
    but a bloated caricature of the carcass of humanity.
    The portrait showed the swelled belly of Mother Love, giving birth to the aborted children who grew from her rotten ovary.
    The children crawled out, prepared to stake their claim on a fallacy of civility.
    Ravenous mouths opened wide as the children slithered from the womb of the mother who loved them best.

    The portrait was a metaphor--a masterpiece.
    Inspiration struck me as I realized that I was one of these children.
    I crawled out of my mother with the best intentions,
    but could only create a cacophony of discontent.

    If our Father could have only known that his seed would become polluted and give birth to my abomination on canvas, would he have reconsidered his part in the procreation of wayward youth?

    My creation stares back at me.
    An insoluble mixture of disgust washes into my skin,
    and it wants to peel.
    The picture deserves to be burned;
    a glorification of stick-up kids sucking on apple cores.
    What happened to evolution?
    What happened to hope?
    Hope, She moved out a long time ago.

    The picture is proof.




    Submitted on 2010-05-13 20:55:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185029

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    prison written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The World written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry