Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Laundry.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jayisademon
    ASL Info:    22/M/SoILL
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 129/81/88
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 408
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1151



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLaundry.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    He hung heavy over a pile of last night's clothes: Soaked, Cigarette-Infused, with just a hint of last calls and shoulda-went-home-withs.

    He grabs the mound from off the floor and smells the aroma of a night better spent sober.
    Wits about him, he grabs for his wallet--down a 20, no two 20s--and still woke up alone.

    No girl, no awkward moments--
    no asking, "How about some eggs?"
    Just silence.

    He lifts the clothes and begins loading them into the washer.
    Who actually separates the colors from whites?
    Women, maybe--but no woman here.

    He pours the detergent, hypoallergenic, but still enough of a scent to blow away a dozen Marlboros and the occasional bowl against better judgement.

    The water starts to fill;
    drowning a jumble of underclothes, buttondowns, and the jeans he had to take off himself.

    He sets the cycle.
    The clothing blurs in the soapy water: messy, clean, water trodden.

    The rinse cycle: the earth was spinning without him, without a her. The self remains soiled.




    Submitted on 2010-05-13 21:08:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is sort of sad, but you told it really good. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2015-05-09 00:00:00 | by tomeliot | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185031

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Outlaw
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry