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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Passing of Timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 409/221/65
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 801



    Description:
       Believe it or not, I wrote most of this when I was 13. The first few lines were written when I was 10, and I remember the day clearly. It was a sunny late spring afternoon, and the daisies were blooming, covering the fields in white. I was walking through a meadow into the forest, and the first four lines just came to me. Then the poem sat for 3 years, because up to this point, I wrote mostly stories. You can see the progression of age. This poem is actually published in a book, on page 310 of Treasured Poems of America, 1993 Edition. I believe now it was one big scam.


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    dotsThe Passing of Timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Not long ago or far away,
    There was a sunny summer day,
    When flowers bloomed and trees grew high
    Beneath the blue and open sky.

    When days were new and love was young,
    I saw the dawning of the sun.
    Now days are old and so am I,
    The sun has faded from the sky.

    Where once were flowers now are weeds,
    I look at them and my heart bleeds.
    I think about the wasted years,
    I cried away those worthless tears.

    While days were bright with cloudless skies,
    I was too young to realize:
    Time flies away, it does not last,
    It's one day's present, next day's past.

    So let's be happy while we're here;
    Life's too short to live in fear.




    Submitted on 2010-05-18 12:42:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is virtually a classic! It is a delightful poem, which would be good work for a skilled writer with many years of experience, but the fact that you wrote it partly at 10 years and finished it at 13 is amazing.

    Life presents us with much randomosity, rather than the choreographed and organized thing we would make of it if our days turned out according to plans. And thus, life rains on many picnics, presents nasty surprises in hallowed areas (such as in marriage), and brings horrible unplanned events (such as being thrust into war and into combat). And, memories of the past include many sunshiny, perfect days, but also painful nightmares about events we stumbled or were thrown into! Our memories become a personal novel that includes pain, sorrow, dismay, absolute terror, and also much love and joy!

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2010-09-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Maybe I'm just simple but I think this is good regardless of the age of the writer. I like poems that actually rhyme and it seems like so many authors get away from that and call it "more sophisticated" not to. I've tried both and still get the most joy from the song-like quality of a good rhyme.
    | Posted on 2010-09-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I have a poem in one fo those books your so great buy this book filled with every poem ever submited by anyone but what an ego boost at that age right? It was my first and only published work unless this counts. A bit of a downer to waste life and yet I feel that's what I'm doing as well. I spend very little time doing what I like to do, write, rap, martial arts parkour, ect and tone of time fitting into societies nitch. I like the ending to enjoy the moment. I always wished I could do that. Nice poem great for the age remind me of things I wrote at that age.
    | Posted on 2010-07-18 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say that for a 13 year old writer, you were above average. Most 13 year olds are writing (crying) wolf. Suicide, death, sadness. Crying yourself to sleep at night.
    Were you an optimistic child? It kind of shocks me. Maybe the culture was different back then.
    And I can't really see the progression, to be honest. You could have been a mature 10 year old, being able to write well enough to immerse your 10 year old lines into a 13 year old's world. I shouldn't freak out about the age thing, but I am. It's just so different from what garbage comes out of this site from that exact age group. And 10 year olds don't write, sadly. They just want something to entertain them. Forget entertaining yourself, it's too difficult for that.
    This was sweet. Really, I liked it. And it suited the day's weather. Sunny and clear (but so damn hot).
    | Posted on 2010-05-25 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]


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