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    dots Submission Name: In Essence, Timedots

    Author: FlickerofHope
    ASL Info:    17/Male/TN
    Elite Ratio:    7.15 - 92/82/34
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 860

       I wrote this back on 8-27-09, so my newer writing style still is not reflected here, but I do like this piece. I started out as a simply musing that turned into a story about how Time operates through and above us. We created the measurement of time, yet the power itself has existed before us and will prevail through all.

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    dotsIn Essence, Timedots

    Time, this man-made creation,
    Counts down our lives,
    And counts up the casualties,
    As it continues its treacherous walk.

    We suffer and meander through it,
    Trying to gain control,
    But it is a force untameable,
    So we succumb to it.

    This unseen monstrosity,
    Destroys our beloved cities,
    And devours our loved ones,
    As it silently passes by.

    It cements our history,
    And dictates our future,
    It operates beyond us,
    And exists not in the present.

    As soon as we are born,
    Time begins to kill us,
    Slowly wringing our hearts,
    And bathing in our blood.

    Time is the final commandment,
    Eventually ours will run out,
    And while minds may forget us,
    Time shall always know.

    Submitted on 2010-05-19 07:16:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is really quite great. I like a poem that really opens the eyes of the reader, and affects them. This is certainly that kind of poem.
    As soon as we are born,
    Time begins to kill us,
    Slowly wringing our hearts,
    And bathing in our blood.

    I really liked this stanza, in a way that it is so true, honest, and poetic. Certainly not because I know it is the truth and what it means for everyone.
    Anyways, keep up the good work! :)
    | Posted on 2010-05-21 00:00:00 | by Aangskate | [ Reply to This ]

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