Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Essence, Timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FlickerofHope
    ASL Info:    17/Male/TN
    Elite Ratio:    7.15 - 92/82/34
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 860



    Description:
       I wrote this back on 8-27-09, so my newer writing style still is not reflected here, but I do like this piece. I started out as a simply musing that turned into a story about how Time operates through and above us. We created the measurement of time, yet the power itself has existed before us and will prevail through all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Essence, Timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time, this man-made creation,
    Counts down our lives,
    And counts up the casualties,
    As it continues its treacherous walk.

    We suffer and meander through it,
    Trying to gain control,
    But it is a force untameable,
    So we succumb to it.

    This unseen monstrosity,
    Destroys our beloved cities,
    And devours our loved ones,
    As it silently passes by.

    It cements our history,
    And dictates our future,
    It operates beyond us,
    And exists not in the present.

    As soon as we are born,
    Time begins to kill us,
    Slowly wringing our hearts,
    And bathing in our blood.

    Time is the final commandment,
    Eventually ours will run out,
    And while minds may forget us,
    Time shall always know.




    Submitted on 2010-05-19 07:16:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is really quite great. I like a poem that really opens the eyes of the reader, and affects them. This is certainly that kind of poem.
    "
    As soon as we are born,
    Time begins to kill us,
    Slowly wringing our hearts,
    And bathing in our blood.
    "

    I really liked this stanza, in a way that it is so true, honest, and poetic. Certainly not because I know it is the truth and what it means for everyone.
    Anyways, keep up the good work! :)
    -Harriet
    | Posted on 2010-05-21 00:00:00 | by Aangskate | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185129

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry