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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lost Cause *edited*dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jan
    ASL Info:    19/female/PA
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 227/251/39
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1058
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1766



    Description:
        I just added to it, that's about it and the last 6 lines were taken from my other 3 paragraphs and it went well together, I just thought it was different


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Cause *edited*dots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's hard to live these days
    so hard to communicate
    the words just rot and fall all away
    through all this confusion
    It's so hard to see
    That there is no right way to go,
    no possibility

    (chorus)

    cuz we're a lost cause
    confused as can be
    cuz we're a lost cause
    and there's nothing left for me,
    All I ever wanted
    was something in return
    then I woke up one day
    and said "When will I learn?"

    (Instrumental break)

    It's hard to look for what's
    lost and left behind
    and I know the answer's
    somewhere hidden in my mind
    and if I look deep enough
    Maybe I will see,
    that all this time I've been searching
    I shoulda looked for me

    and they say that we're a lost cause
    confused as can be
    and we're a lost cause
    and there's nothing left for me
    All I ever wanted
    was something in return
    Then I woke up on day
    and said "when will I learn?"

    (Instrumental break)

    Don't try to question my sense of philosophy
    I learn all these things just from what I see
    Maybe you should try look at things the way I do.
    Just one day in my shoes, see my point of view.

    (small break)

    through all this confusion
    It's so hard to see
    that all this time I've been searching
    I shoulda looked for me

    Maybe you should try look at things the way I do.
    Just one day in my shoes, see my point of view.






    Submitted on 2004-07-25 11:30:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      some pretty nice lyrics you have here, but i must inquire as to what type of music you visualise behind this? i had several genres going through my head which was not a good mix, looking back.

    anyway, i think you did a great job with this, i haven't read the original, but it must have been pretty good to manifest into this

    what i liked about it was that the structure was changing and wasn't just verse|chorus|verse|chorus but involved instrumental breaks and stanzas of different lengths and that made it all the more interesting to read.

    I also think the last two lines stand out quite strongly and provide a great end to a captivating lyric and maybe the last line could be changed to something like:
    "maybe you should spend just one day in my shoes"

    but its not my place to be changing things.

    and lol, ive just looked up at the writing again and found that i've already commented! i feel like an idiot now, lol, but at least this one is more meaningful and apologies to anyone who think commenting twice is morally wrong.

    have a nice day
    ~james
    | Posted on 2006-12-29 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      1 mistake I found in the first instrumental break in line 15 you said on but it should be spelled one. other than this this was some great lyrics I think.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by Draco | [ Reply to This ]
      where u begin is where u end... coz the world is a complete circle... lol
    it was a good foray of thought.. almost reaching a philosphical level.. ur thoughts are strong dude
    bye..
    p.s.
    this goes in to my fav...
    | Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      Did I comment on your original? I can vaguely remember something similar unless i'm going senial already! This was good (if not better than) the original (if I read it.) Okay, this is the wierdest comment I've given, so I'm sorry, I did enjoy the song though. Also, is your picture from Chrono Trigger because that game kicks some serious bootay!
    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      I demand that you actually put this in an album. I want to hear this song. I bet it's one I would end up listening to religiously. !
    | Posted on 2004-07-25 00:00:00 | by Shuurinakisame | [ Reply to This ]


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