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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sunder and Synthesizedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WhatYouWill
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 65/76/35
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 522
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       sorry this is kind of disgusting


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSunder and Synthesizedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to dissect myself

    I will open my body cavity
    expose myself to the world in my purest nakedness


    I want to dissect you, too

    your spongy soft flesh
    spilling out of my careful and surgical incisions


    maybe
    possibly
    we will even dissect each other

    cutting into our soft bellies
    using the probe
    to pull back our skins

    peeling back worldly complication
    to just be two simple cadavers
    who love each other

    jumbling our parts together
    until it is impossible to tell

    which is which

    who is who




    Submitted on 2010-05-22 10:28:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i don't find this disgusting.

    interesting, maybe.

    i love the idea actually of the what's inside.

    your heart.
    my heart.
    and who's who.
    and is there a difference?

    ain't love grand?

    great lines here -

    to just be two simple cadavers
    who love each other

    completely exposed. naked. bared of all pretense. true. honest. real.

    (death is not modest).

    as a whole,
    i think this write could use a bit of a pare down. a second look. a stepping away from and coming back to. it feels fresh and in need of a little tidying up.

    i can't really suggest what to do. these are your words. but i like them. yup.
    | Posted on 2010-05-24 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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