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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lost Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dragune
    ASL Info:    29/Male
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 1/1/3
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 498



    Description:
       A little something i wrote about my lost love and my lost daughter


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life sucks.. Love's Lost.. nothing really matters anymore.. but at what cost..
    my daughter's gone.. my life's all wrong.. here I sit I hear our song..
    my tears start flowing.. as i am left knowing.. up, without me, my daughter is growing..
    my heart still beats for the one that treats it like love is meek..
    I cry, I die, I sigh, I try.
    yet my heart will never seek, its too weak
    never will I love again..
    till my love returns to me?




    Submitted on 2010-05-22 19:36:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the emotions your poem gets across... Personally, I think it would be a bit better if you removed one of the "agains" on the second to last line, so that it reads,
    "never will I love again.." or
    "never again will I love.."
    I like the honesty of feelings portrayed through this poem, I feel as though I understand your plight, although I do not know you, just a little bit more, and I am sorry...
    | Posted on 2010-05-25 00:00:00 | by einna | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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