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    dots Submission Name: Lost Lovedots

    Author: Dragune
    ASL Info:    29/Male
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 1/1/3
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 571
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 498

       A little something i wrote about my lost love and my lost daughter

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Lovedots

    Life sucks.. Love's Lost.. nothing really matters anymore.. but at what cost..
    my daughter's gone.. my life's all wrong.. here I sit I hear our song..
    my tears start flowing.. as i am left knowing.. up, without me, my daughter is growing..
    my heart still beats for the one that treats it like love is meek..
    I cry, I die, I sigh, I try.
    yet my heart will never seek, its too weak
    never will I love again..
    till my love returns to me?

    Submitted on 2010-05-22 19:36:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the emotions your poem gets across... Personally, I think it would be a bit better if you removed one of the "agains" on the second to last line, so that it reads,
    "never will I love again.." or
    "never again will I love.."
    I like the honesty of feelings portrayed through this poem, I feel as though I understand your plight, although I do not know you, just a little bit more, and I am sorry...
    | Posted on 2010-05-25 00:00:00 | by einna | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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