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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What is there to Hope?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1506



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat is there to Hope?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    All hope is dying,
    These tears keep falling
    My heart is breaking,
    I think Iím falling apart.

    Over come with sadness,
    Emotions running wild,
    Feeling things people thought didnít exist.

    Inside my head, I wonder
    Am I going crazy with fear?
    Should I just get help or give up?

    Dreams of the worst, nightmares of the best,
    Wait I think this is backwards,
    Why are my dreams painful?
    Why do these nightmares comfort,
    When nothing else works.

    Lost in all thought I didnít notice you,
    You seem to be slipping away,
    Pulling back from life, pulling back from me
    Over come with sadness
    I fear goodbye, fear that which I cannot see.

    In a world so upside down,
    I hope for nightmares dread my dreams.
    In a world where hope is a joke,
    Happiness isnít in a dictionary,
    And sadness is a common theme.

    I sit up in my room all alone,
    Looking out my window, staring at sky
    Wondering how it all ended up to be this way
    Life was suppose to be grand, I found you again.
    Yet the longer you are here the sadder I become.

    I know you wonít stay; itís only a matter of time
    She will walk back into your life, I can feel it.
    And then I will be left in the dust,
    With nothing but my nightmares, and dreams
    That causes me so much pain.




    Submitted on 2010-05-26 15:28:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      "In a world so upside down,
    I hope for nightmares dread my dreams.
    In a world where hope is a joke,
    Happiness isnít in a dictionary,
    And sadness is a common theme."

    --This is a repetition from a earlier stanza, but it seems to fit better than the previous section. Maybe you should alter or remove the prior comment, readers may get lost with it because its so much thought.

    "I know you wonít stay; itís only a matter of time
    She will walk back into your life, I can feel it.
    And then I will be left in the dust,
    With nothing but my nightmares, and dreams
    That causes me so much pain."

    --comma after nothing and remove the one behind nightmares. No (s) on cause and I think it will improve.

    --Otherwise good write, quite expressive.
    | Posted on 2010-06-06 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]


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