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    dots Submission Name: Weeping Eyes of a Girl Unwanteddots

    Author: PhantomRose
    ASL Info:    19/F/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    2.47 - 43/58/35
    Words: 307
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 403
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1527


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWeeping Eyes of a Girl Unwanteddots

    A little girl is born
    to a family full of hate
    The doctor has to cut her out
    cause she is far to late
    The doctor holds her out
    for the parents both to see
    But the father looked disgusted
    that the baby is a she

    * * *

    About five years have passed
    and that baby is now a child
    She's crying in the corner
    instead of with her little sister running wild
    Mommy has left
    she's into something called drugs
    And daddy doesn't love her
    her sister is the only one he hugs

    * * *

    Now she is thirteen
    and those tears she still crys
    Her father's gotten worse
    and her mother no longer tries
    Her eye is big and bruised,
    swollen almost shut
    And her arm is slightly scabbed
    the remainder of a week old cut

    * * *

    Eighteen she is now
    and she will not take it anymore
    She's sick of him calling her "bitch"
    and "Satan's little whore"
    The time has come to live her life
    and show her parents she can do it
    She will not let them hurt her
    and she'll never again be hit.

    Finally I'll be happy
    and I can dry my weeping eyes
    I'll live this life with passion
    for I have cut those horris ties

    Submitted on 2010-05-27 00:09:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      cause she is far to late

    To should be too.

    I like how you choose overall assessment for your best pieces for others to review from top to bottom and sometimes I believe people are either scared or lazy to even review OA requested pieces.

    By the time I got to the second stanza thing get darker because it involves loneliness and favoritism:

    --- She's crying in the corner
    instead of with her little sister running wild

    --- And daddy doesn't love her
    her sister is the only one he hugs

    The side theme is a timeline, going from period to period in life span.Flash joint to how you reflect things people barely remember, like your baby years.

    The last two stanzas: I see in the character a thirst for independence and a hunger to prove wrongful ones wrong.
    My interpretation is that this is a fight poem, tired of hell, done with hell now let's shoot for heaven and get the glory after being victimized in a sad parental way.

    The reader has to ways two look at this.You can look at the girls viewpoint and you can look deeper into the folly behavior of the parents.
    You write your own reality and never plan to hide what you've been through and that's something to be respected.

    But then I say, one before me probably couldn't give any feedback because they felt this poem is too personal to give any opinion.
    That's on them then.

    After all the bull you suffer through you become thorough, to handle pain, year after year.You can handle triumph when it finally arrive after you persevering.
    | Posted on 2011-04-13 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]

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