Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untimely harvestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Temidayo
    ASL Info:    29 male Nigeria-lagos
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 161/40/20
    Words: 438
    Class/Type: Story/
    Total Views: 514
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2541



    Description:
       A pedophile school teacher meets the grimm reaper


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntimely harvestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world tilted, and came rushing into his eyes
    as the ground wrapped him.
    his dazed eyes met hollowness and cold stared him.
    slowly it made sense;
    he knew this was none other than the Taker
    and his time was now.
    his lips contorted in a sneer
    " so now you deem it fit to put an end to this
    existence I fooled myself into calling life, to retrieve me from my foolery of wanton lust.

    When embolden by truth and conscience I went about aright, you cold cloaker. Wickedly let me be
    just when my hand had grown fond of destroying- that which I built,my friend thou cold bringer left me still
    when I personified lust and chased skirts fiercely
    drank my fill and even those of persons unborn.


    Even as I Corrupted my conscience with defiling of the underage, who only desired to learn at my feet,
    -little ones I was commissioned to teach,
    their innocence I strained to reach,
    stealing and guzzling their pristine nature
    greedily
    I had these youngsters liberally

    Ah! so now I die never to atone...pray do tell- the cause of me very death? for all I know i fell, why?
    Cold-hearted to where goeth us?

    For how long have you prowled the earth in this job of yours? for time infinitum?
    for me no legacy,no life story worthy of mention,

    with me very hands I erased my claim to fame. for me,... me very pride is shame!
    do tell amongst those thou hast cruelly seized, has there been any, of worst character,...please say many.

    Cold stare, be not carried away by these people that wail as they rush me off to medical aid.they cry now but that is to be expected but soon rejoice at me exit,another excuse for a gathering
    not all who gather are friends ,sympathizers some gather because there is a gathering!
    I pray they forget my sinner ways , my conscience dumb days.

    cold Taker,cold dead eyes,soulless since time immemorial...
    sorry dear death did you say you will send me back?
    kind sir I choose not to go back if my limbs are broken or my body is incapacitated...
    what life will i live?! Even if I return to right my wrongs.

    His eyes traced the motions of the cold one's dance

    YOUR HEART I DID FIX TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE
    YES! CORRECT YOUR DISTORTED VIEW,
    QUALITY OF LIFE IS UPTO YOU!!!




    Submitted on 2010-05-27 08:23:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love how you used the word "wanton". It is so rarely used, and deserves better lol. I thought that it was very well written, but I must apologize and say that I didn't quite get it. Maybe I need more coffee, but could you maybe explain? lol

    keep writing

    istalkmurdoch
    | Posted on 2010-05-28 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185326

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    The World written by jjd
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry