Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Outkast Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Runes
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790/815/281
    Words: 320
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 1450
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1850



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOutkast Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world took a deep breath and held it in for 32 hours, then blew out the smoke. Mankind looked up and noticed Clouds.

    Some theorized it Vaporous, while others Demonic. Still others invented a GOD and threw it behind the glow of golden light and whispered smiles of "Our Real Home" because the sand was grit-true and the oceans were phosphorous, and they were of a Higher Calling than what grew with roots and branches.

    They all tried to say leaves were Modesty and offered vines to bind them over bodies, to belt them to the skin that grew leather-friendly while preaching Modification Will Save Us, hammering stones to break off claws and shape ovals in their wake.

    They used numbers for explanations, and created a chaos called Science of elliptical measurements and slanted off-sidedness, and drew stick lines of pillars and round circles of cones. They said, this is how Seeing happens, and blinked their eye-lidded fixtures over orbed receptacle bowls, melted shade-flavored sand to enhance Beauty, and pierced themselves with barbs and bones.

    I am not of these strange people, these shell drinkers and flouncing reed-cutters. I press my lips to the water below me, rather than curve my fingers to taste it in order to belong. Even the fur they curl and burn blunt with tenders makes me foreign on their brush-swept soils.

    They are of another process of Being, and I am quite Alone.

    But the thunder rumbles truer meanings, and the wind whispers epitomes, assuring me they will all pass in time and lie in scattered bones to collect and burn with strange new Fires, to draw out a tribe of my own

    And the world will wait 32 hours before taking another deep breath, and holding it in.







    Submitted on 2010-06-01 20:47:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      UHuh, I always wondered where God came from... :S
    I like this like, a lot. It explores creation in a way I have not seen before. I love how it is mankind who holds their breath and releases.it, making assumptions out of what they have created. I love how human actions have been analysed. I love how this piece just is.
    I'm still a kid (although my little brother begs to differ) and who knows what will happen to mankind as I start to grow up more? What else will mankind create to excuse their actions? Or has it been done beyond irreparable damage, where excuses will no longer be tolerated? Agh sorry, I am rambling...

    Anyway, this piece really makes one think. You have done a marvellous job of stirring up the whole Theory of Knowledge part in the brain. (I'm an IB student and we have to do this theory of Knowledge stuff...)

    Sorry I rambled a bit, but I don't think I did myself or this piece any justice with this comment. What can I say, I like this. And I am so sorry if I have interpreted anything incorrectly...

    It is thought provoking. (:

    ~
    | Posted on 2010-12-25 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]
      i read this one alot. makes me remember where i was before. i don't think pot was ever good for me, except in certain contexts, but not as much as i had used it before.

    this reminds me of when we used to talk. feels like there's parts of me in here. i mean to me, i relate to it alot. makes me think of what i mean and how i come across when i don't communicate well. it's hard sometimes. i guess i never bent my fingers before because i didn't know how, told myself it was better, but the context was always these circles of contrast. like those little diagrams of compare and contrast, and i lied myself the ratio too much.

    i don't know how to comment on your abilities. it seems pointless. you should know you're talented. if you don't then i'll remind you....you're very talented. sometimes i wish we had a little real life cafe. and we could all read instead of write. but i'm losing focus.

    i think what i was trying to express is how strange the human race is being that everything we percieve is relative to things we've percieved before. all those invisible elements we have in our minds. things we learned as children. we all taught in a uniform code but we all only obtain 10percent. it makes me wonder how drastically we differ in that 10 percent. idk, i always thought if there's a butterfly affect isn't there a butterfly effect. i suppose concidering how poorely i butcher social meaning and interactions i probably am no positive force in this. but i try.

    all these distal effects and affects while most people can't concern themselves with others even in their proximity. i've let most of these thoughts die down. but i still think it's good to just wonder sometimes. how actions carry to others. i guess people don't always recognize change in me, but that's a matter of how we summarize one another sometimes.

    i wonder how the world shifts. in a thousand years. in 10. i see no point in concerning myself with an "end of days". maybe if i was a scientist, or there was something that pointed to such things other than fear and rhetorically compiled science.

    idk, i'm all over the place. but i sing along. and i'm glad this is here to read.
    | Posted on 2010-11-06 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of a mix between Dune and 1984 but seriously annihilated on herbage... which ain't a bad thing, nope. Just had an apple shisha hookah last weekend packed with greenery... best way to have it, I tell ya.

    This is an interesting angle you've explored, in regards to the philosophy behind it and the style of prose you've employed.

    Well... yep... I just woke up... it's Friday and I have a day off... and I'm listening to some bad-ass Nina Simone songs right now.

    How random is this comment...

    | Posted on 2010-06-24 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      
    | Posted on 2010-06-08 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]
      The line commented on by the previous reader also struck my focus,quite like to enjoy the earth we need not modify it,like animals we drink from water with the contact of our lips.

    The piece is scathingly pro earth. Like we should stop creating reasons for favor or disfavour in natural earth all has a purpose. Thats how I interpreted it. Please put me in the know if am wrong. And flunked it.

    By far a
    Nice job all the same.



    Henry
    | Posted on 2010-06-08 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]
      
    I press my lips to the water below me, rather than curve my fingers to taste it in order to belong.

    This is my favorite line. For me it just about sums up the sentiments of this entire piece -- not disturbing that which is not 'rightfully ours.' This practice of possessiveness over everything on the planet...it's quite disgusting and terrible, and yet, we are all active participators in it. Some in larger degrees. But I don't want to ramble about that...

    Let's get back to that lovely line of yours, worthy of being the basis of its own poem. The image it imparts is delicately perfect, perfectly delicate. The thought of lips pressing on the water, enough to feel it, but not enough to disturb it, is quite enough to feel like you're a part of something whole and beautiful. This planet offers so many sights, tastes, touches, sounds, smells, that are very uplifting.

    The world, if you know where to look, can be very good for you, you know?

    The whole God thing -- sometimes I just wanna look at the moon and be in awe of the moon and not worry about what may or may not have created it. Sometimes, worshiping a thing for the thing itself is spiritually filling.

    Simple as that.

    This comment is oh-so allovertheplace but meh, I guess ultimately its main expression is that this isn't as much of an outcast song as it feels sometimes.

    There is comfort in that.

    Keep singing.

    Alia
    | Posted on 2010-06-01 00:00:00 | by O | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    185434

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    ME written by jjd
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry