[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Le Bruit (The Noise)dots

    Author: lebeauvide
    ASL Info:    24/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 75/295/165
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1182


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLe Bruit (The Noise)dots

    Votre voix, c'est une cacophonie violente
    Sirènes de raid aérien dans mes oreilles
    Je pousse votre tête sous l'eau
    Toujours, votre voix remplit mes oreilles vides

    Est-il beaucoup desirer pour silence?
    Est y un moment de paix?
    Je pousse votre tête sous l'eau
    Jusqu'à je sente le dégagement de pression

    Je sente cette fureur inspirée déroule
    Et elle me caresse avec ses bras d'arbre de mesquite
    Je pousse votre tête sous l'eau
    Mais je ne veux pas vous blesser

    (Your voice is a violent cacophony
    Air raid sirens in my ears
    I push your head below water
    Still, your noise fills my empty ears

    Is silence too much to desire?
    Is there never a moment's peace?
    I push your head below water
    Until I feel the pressure release

    I feel that inspired rage unfold
    And caress me with its mesquite tree arms
    I push your head below water
    But I don't mean you any harm)

    Submitted on 2010-06-01 22:49:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      J'ai pensé que c'était très bien écrit, bien que je voudrais savoir pourquoi vous l'avez écrit en français et en anglais?

    lol I too know Français.

    But as I said before I do think that this was very well written. I could see the who scene in my head, and the emotions that you were trying to convey. I don't think that I have anything bad to say about this.

    Continuez d'écrire jusqu'à ce que vous ne pouvez plus! Je voudrais également une évaluation globale sur mon travail, si vous avez le temps;)

    | Posted on 2010-06-01 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Canalizar written by MyPeriodical
    Two hundred and seven times written by MyPeriodical
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    That Kind of Love Never Brought Me Flowers written by Jazzy
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Untitled written by _winky_
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    I am a sorry son. Part two written by MyPeriodical
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Remedies written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]