[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: An Invitation.dots

    Author: edcherry
    Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197/67/22
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1127
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 874

       An exercise in internal rhyme. To show that I, as a scorpio stinger also have a soft centre like a good chocolate. Yassah!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Invitation.dots

    An Invitation.

    Oh, please join me 'neath this lilac tree,
    for a nice quiet chat about this and that,
    to while away this care-free day,
    and rest our feet, from the pavement heat

    You could rhyme with me a poem or three,
    dreaming up words about singing birds,
    or the waves of sea, ever-rolling and free,
    as we muse for a while, poetise and smile.

    You could share with me my thermos of tea,
    and half the lunch I bought on a hunch,
    of passing girls, the one with blonde curls
    would see it was fit to join me and sit.

    Oh, please - oh please join me 'neath this tree
    with love in your heart for literary art,
    where poems of loves match cooing of doves,
    and tensions all cease, in the blessings of peace.

    Submitted on 2010-06-02 22:49:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      aww I wanted to be the first to comment, but alas. I was too slow.....

    So you would like to know what I think about your poem? I simply love it (I added it to my faves), and I really like how you rhymed. I honestly can say that I've never seen that rhythm of rhyme. I haven't been around as much poetry as I would like. I loved how you used flowers also, I love lilacs, the way they look, their sweet smell that never ceases to capture me every time I smell it, and the fact that you include your love of poetry. If you would, please make a poem about morning glories, and sweet peas. They are my favorite flowers :P besides lilac and dogwood.

    Also, I would love to join you under your tree, and enjoy the blessings of peace. I haven't been able to enjoy peace in a long time. This poem gave me a taste of so many things that make me happy. Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece. I'm sorry that I didn't have anything bad to say :)

    Keep Doing What You're Doing


    | Posted on 2010-06-03 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]

    sing song your life away, sweet singing bird
    beauty and grace, was the song that i heard
    dream away or sing all day, either works just fine
    humming birds hum words while playing with the flies
    they found a place that was safe from the spider
    made friends with some men, who torched it with a lighter
    never felt the fright again and went along their flight
    guided by the fireflies that set blaze the night


    there are trees
    i see three
    one is red, one is brown
    there are leaves
    ten indeed
    scattered round-bout the ground
    there are scenes
    that I've seen
    some with glowing orbs of light
    but of all these
    my favorite to see
    are the suns breaking the moonlight

    Whatever you please

    not really sure, i was invited for a game
    try to be internalized in a literal way
    might have made a blunder two
    or 3 or four i am not sure
    thanks for the invitation,
    i've been making
    excuses all

    (that was the worlds most fun comment, thanks for setting it up that way, it was fairly awesome of you.)
    also i hope we get some other people to join in, like in any way, even minis or haiku's because some group participation could do this place good.
    | Posted on 2010-06-02 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]